


120 Yards

by KO5



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: US Women's Soccer National Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-04-24 21:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 26,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4935802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KO5/pseuds/KO5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All the hard work that Hope Solo and Kelley O’Hara invested into building their relationship is suddenly lost when Kelley wakes up from an accident with her memory tainted far beyond repair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Are You Doing?

**Author's Note:**

> Excited about this new story. Let me know what you think! Enjoy the first chapter :)

_August 2012_

 

_Kelley slowly opened her hotel room door, careful not to wake her roommate. Hope stood on the other side with a soccer ball in one hand and a mischievous grin on her face. Before Kelley had the chance to ask what brought the goalkeeper to her room at 2 in the morning, Hope quickly put a finger to her own mouth, signaling her not to say anything. The adventurous sparkle in Hope’s eyes was hard to go unnoticed and Kelley instantly knew she was up to no good._

_And because Kelley wasn’t one to miss out on an adventure, nevertheless a spontaneous night outing with the one and only Hope Solo during their last night in London, she felt her hands search for the doorknob behind her._

_The door closed shut and there was no going back._

_Without saying one word, Hope successfully led Kelley the few blocks down from their hotel room until they reached their destination._

_Wembley Stadium._

_As Hope carefully checked her surroundings to make sure no one was watching, she slid herself through a small breach in the security gate and proceeded to the nearest side door to let themselves in. Kelley had no idea how Hope managed to gain an access key to the infamous London stadium and honestly she didn’t really want to know either, but of course, not wanting to be outdone, Kelley didn’t object and followed suit._

_Hope walked through the tunnel to the main field to find the main light switch, and soon the field light up in all its glory. Hope stood at the sidelines and looked at awe at the field before her._

_“And that’s how you break into Wembley Stadium.”_

_Kelley felt herself do a whole turn as she looked around. This was truly breathtaking. Words could not describe what it felt like to win gold for their country in this exact stadium, so Kelley found it even harder to describe what it felt like to stand in the empty stadium with absolutely no one around except for Hope beside her. Her eyes wandered, but somehow found their way back to the taller woman who had just stolen her heart. Kelley failed to stifle a laugh._

_“You’re crazy, you know that? What are we doing here?”_

_Not wanting to give an answer quite yet, Hope simply shrugged before stepping on the pitch and dropping the ball to her feet. They passed the ball back and forth until Kelley broke their silence. She chuckled once more at the ridiculous situation she was in and how Hope was the reason for it._

_“I’m pretty sure this is against the rules.”_

_“Oh come on, Kelley. Do you not know me at all? I don’t play by the rules.”_

_Kelley smirked in return, “Good. Because neither do I.”_

-

 

“Hope? Hey, wake up.”

 

Hope was startled by the sound of her name and a pair of hands gently shaking her shoulder. Her vision cleared and she soon realized Carli had taken a seat beside her.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“The doctors want a word with you.”

 

Carli motioned down the hallway where a team of medical staff seemed to be waiting. Hope sighed and out of exhaustion, she forced herself to stand up.

 

Nearly a week ago, she and Kelley had been celebrating their anniversary at a restaurant that had just recently opened in downtown Seattle. After wandering hand in hand along the waterfront for a good amount of time, they decided to head home in attempts to beat the storm that appeared to be rolling in. They had just crossed the bridge back to their home in Kirkland when a truck in the opposing lane recklessly cut the corner, skidding on an inch of rain and just snipping the side of their car. Fortunately, it wasn’t a head on collision and Hope walked away with no more than some whiplash and irritation to her shoulder. Unfortunately, Kelley wasn’t so lucky. The passenger side of the car had been impacted greatly, causing some brain damage and leaving Kelley unconscious at the scene. Thankfully, medics had arrived promptly, giving doctors a sufficient amount of time to stop Kelley from bleeding. It would be no longer than a week for her to wake up from surgery.

 

But this had been the longest week of her life.

 

Spending more time at the hospital than their home, Hope anxiously awaited for Kelley to wake up. She lashed out the first few days, not being able to comprehend the reason why Kelley had not even begun to stir and it took quite a few people to convince her that she needed to give it some time and wait patiently. Both her mom and her in-laws stood by her side while her closest friends helped out as often as they could. Currently, Carli and Alex were keeping her company.

 

“Any news?”

 

“Actually, good news.” The doctor said with a smile growing on his face.

 

Hope perked up. “Really? Is she awake?”

 

“Not quite…however, her brain is showing an increase in electrical activity, which is a very good sign. So if you’d like to sit by her side, it shouldn’t be long now.”

 

Hope sighed in great relief, thanking the doctors before entering the room. She pulled a chair to the bed side and reluctantly stared at the woman she loved, something that Hope normally liked to do if Kelley wasn’t laying unconsciously in a hospital bed. Hope hated how fragile and weak she looked, and how that contrasted her normally spirited and vibrant personality. She wanted more than anything to hear her voice again. She needed her to wake up.

 

A few hours passed and Hope’s anxiety only seemed to manifest in her knee shaking up and down, and her grip on Kelley’s hand becoming tighter and tighter. Hope knew she needed to calm herself down and decided to take a little walk around the hospital, but not before placing a gentle kiss on Kelley’s forehead.

 

However, as she did so, she felt Kelley tremble beneath her and stir for the first time in many days. Hope was slightly bothered by the kiss being so fairytale-like, but she also couldn’t contain her excitement and happiness that Kelley might actually be okay. She sat on the hospital bed, making sure Kelley would not be alone when she woke up.

 

Within a matter of minutes, Kelley’s eyes fluttered open. She was startled by the unfamiliar room, but was even more so by the body hovering over her and the close proximity of another face. Kelley gently placed her hand against her teammate’s chest, hinting at her discomfort with the lack of personal space.

 

“Hope? Uhm, what are you doing?”

 

Hope felt tears form in her eyes and as she blinked them away, she felt herself smile.

 

“I’ve never been so worried in my life…you’re going to be okay, Kell. Thank God.”

 

Hope couldn’t be happier and out of reflex, she pressed her lips against Kelley, but surprisingly their kiss lasted much shorter than she would have liked. Kelley had shoved her away, a little more violently than necessary.

 

“Oh my god! Hope, get off of me!”

 

Hope was startled by the sudden outburst and stood up. She looked at Kelley, noticing for the first time how confused and terrified she was. Hope didn’t understand quite exactly was going on, but from the look in Kelley’s eyes, she knew something was definitely wrong.

 

“Am I hurting you?” Hope cautiously asked, trying to make out the readings of the hospital monitors surrounding them.

 

“What? No, you aren’t…but…what were you just doing?” Kelley looked up at her teammate, even more confused than before.  

 

“I…I was kissing you.” Hope stated in a matter of fact tone.

 

“What? Why? Hope, what’s going on?”

 

“Kelley, are you alright?”

 

“Why were you kissing me? Is this a prank?”

 

“A prank? What? No. I was kissing you…because I can?” Hope felt ridiculous for trying to explain this to Kelley. She tried to bring clarity to their confusion. Her voice trembled with frustration, but more so with worry.

 

“Kelley, we’re married.”  

 

“N…no…”

 

“What do you mean no? _I’m your wife.”_

 

“My _what_?”  


	2. This Isn't Funny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope finally let the tears escape as she buried her head in her hands. Her feelings were finally starting to catch up to her and reality was sinking in. Kelley was a stranger to her now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the great feedback, everyone! I'm happy you're liking the new story :)

Hope dashed out of the hospital room and down the hallway as quick as her feet could take her. Noticing her panicked state of mind, Carli jumped up from her seat in attempts to stop her friend.

 

“Hope? Hope!” Carli took a few steps forward as she noticed Hope quicken her pace. “Hope, what’s wrong? What happened?”

 

Hope stopped for a brief second, looking at Carli with the most pained eyes on the brink of tears. Now it was Alex’s turn to jump out of her seat. She and Carli exchanged a look, both of them fearing the worse. They quickly nodded in silence to each other as Alex sprinted towards Kelley’s room and Carli rushed off after Hope who was now halfway out the door, totally in the opposite direction of each other.

 

Carli finally caught up to Hope, grabbing her arm and forcefully spinning her around.

 

“What happened?”

 

Hope finally let the tears escape as she buried her head in her hands. Her feelings were finally starting to catch up to her and reality was sinking in. Kelley was a stranger to her now.

 

“Breathe, Hope. Calm down…talk to me…” Carli lowered her voice, afraid of the answer to her follow up question. “Is Kelley okay?”

 

“She’s awake.” Hope mumbled.

 

Carli let her head roll back as she sighed in great relief. Much more relaxed, she pried, “Oh thank god…from the way you’re acting, you would’ve thought that…”

 

“She’s not Kelley.”

 

Carli tilted her head in confusion, “Come again?”

 

“She…she doesn’t…she’s not Kelley.” Hope repeated, still sounding as cryptic as ever.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“There’s something wrong, Carli.” Hope finally faced her best friend, her eyes turning an icy cold blue.

 

“With what?”

 

“Her memory.”

 

-

 

The door flew open and Alex stumbled into the hospital room down the hallway. Noticing her best friend sitting upright and fiddling with what appeared to be a remote, she let out a breath for the first time in the last couple minutes.

 

“Alex! Thank goodness you’re here! What’s going on? I was just trying to see if I could call a nurse or something, but I have no idea how to work this stupid remote.” Kelley banged the device against her arm rest.

 

“Y…you’re…okay.” Alex was slightly out of breath.

 

“Uhh…it appears so? Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

Before Alex had the chance to explain, Carli flew through the door as well, also slightly out of breath and just about to repeat what Alex had said.

 

“You’re okay!”

 

“Jesus, you guys, is the whole team outside my door or something?” Kelley tried peering through the window.

 

“You…you’re awake.”

 

“Gosh, sorry if I dozed off for an hour or too. Seriously, what’s going on, guys?” Kelley looked around for her patient chart.

 

Alex was just about to explain when Carli interrupted her once again.

 

“What did you do to Hope?”

 

Kelley had forgotten about their little exchange just moments before, but quickly recalled it.

 

“What did _I_ do? What are you talking about? She’s the one who was all over as I woke up.” Kelley scrunched up her face in repulsion.

 

Alex was completely lost. “And…?”

 

“And?” Kelley couldn’t believe how lost her friends were right now. She exclaimed, “And it got super weird! She kissed me, you guys! Hope Solo _locked lips_ with me! Who knew she played for both teams?!”

 

Kelley laughed at her own joke, but suddenly realized that no one was laughing with her. Her two teammates in front of her had glazed expressions over their faces.

 

“Guys, what’s wrong?”

 

Alex spoke up softly, “Kell, of course Hope was kissing you…that’s not a surprise. I mean, I would to if you were my wife.”

 

“That’s what she said!”

 

Kelley chuckled, expecting one of her friends to laugh with her and admit that all of this was one big joke.

But that never happened. None of this was a joke.

 

Carli explained, “You two are married.”

 

“You guys, this isn’t funny anymore…cut it out.” Kelley’s expression became more somber.

 

“Kelley, this isn’t a joke. We’re dead serious.”

 

-

 

Before their conversation had the chance to get out of hand, Carli had rationally suggested for a doctor to come check Kelley out. Much to Kelley’s dismay and her many statements of “I’m fine,” nurses and doctors prodded at her in attempts to figure out what was going on. They had just begun to run tests when the doctor entered the room once more.

 

Kelley quickly sat up, “Finally! Is someone around here ever going to give me answers? Was it another concussion?”

 

“We’re still running tests, but I’d like to ask you some questions to confirm my suspicions.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“We’ve contacted your family. They’re on their way, but for now, do you mind if your friends outside come in?”

 

Kelley shrugged, “Yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

 

Soon, Carli and Alex walked in with Hope trailing behind them. Hope dared not to look at Kelley right away and took the seat in the corner of the room, furthest away from everyone else. When she finally looked up, her heart skipped a beat as she realized Kelley was staring straight at her.

 

But it wasn’t the way normally Kelley stared at her.

 

This stare was lacking. Kelley’s eyes were filled with confusion and concern rather than the normal sparkle that was only reserved for Hope. Their eye contact broke as the doctor began to ask questions.

 

“What is your full name?”

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Please, just answer these questions to the best of your ability.”

 

Kelley sighed and rolled her eyes. “This is silly, but alright…my name is Kelley Maureen O’Hara.”

 

“Date of birth?”

 

“August 4, 1988.”

 

“Where are you from?”

 

“Fayatteville, Georgia.”

 

“Do you know where you are right now?”

 

“Obviously a hospital…somewhere in Georgia?” Kelley peered outside the window. “Doesn’t look like it though.”

 

“We’re in Seattle.”

 

“Seattle? Really? What am I doing here?” Kelley curiously questioned, slightly concerned that she didn’t remember why she was in the Pacific Northwest.

 

“We’ll work on answering your questions later…I just have a couple more of my own.” The doctor scribbled on his notepad. “Career?”

 

“Professional soccer player.”

 

“Family members?”

 

“Well, there are my parents- Dan and Karen. And my siblings- Erin and Jerry.”

 

“Any significant others?”

 

Kelley hesitated at that question, noticing Alex giving Hope a sympathetic look. She responded, “Well, I mean, Hope here is claiming to be my wife or something…but uh, I really don’t like that joke.”

 

The doctor raised his eyebrow, “So you’re single then?”

 

“Oh god no.” Kelley stated, thinking how ridiculous it was that she had to answer this. She chose to ignore Hope who was obviously, and anxiously, awaiting her answer. She finished her thought, “I have a girlfriend. Her name is Ann.”

 

Hope’s entire body tensed and her jaw clenched, a reflex she had acquired when she was visibly upset. She stared out the window, choosing not to believe anything coming out of Kelley’s mouth right now. She felt Carli put her hand on her should in support.

 

“Hmm…okay. One last question. What is the last thing you remember before waking up?”

 

“Well, I mean, I don’t remember the exact last thing I did…but I know we’ve been doing a lot of promotional events and such in prep for the Olympics. We just finished training…and thank goodness for that too. I can’t wait to get to London.”

 

Kelley felt giddy talking about her childhood dream, but soon realized no one else was sharing her sentiments. This was happening a lot today- she was clearly not on the same page as everyone else.

 

“Alright, I need to review my notes and check on your scans. I’ll be back shortly.” The doctor quickly exited the room.

 

Kelley desperately looked back and forth between all her teammates in front of her. “This was just a concussion, right guys? That’s what I’m assuming.”

 

Alex gulped and quietly said her name, “Kelley…”

 

“Guys? What’s going on? We’re going to the Olympics, right? And I’m still going too, yeah?”

 

“Yeah…” Alex murmured the second of her response. “ _We went._ ”

 

Kelley sighed in relief and nodded, “Oh, okay cool.”

 

Then the second half of Alex’s reply suddenly hit her.

 

Past tense. _We went_.

 

“Wait, what do you mean we went? Like it’s over?”

 

Kelley slowly began to panic as she realized what might’ve happened to her.

 

“It already happened?”

 

Knowing that her two teammates beside her were going to be the ones to break the news to Kelley, Carli took the situation into her own hands. She took a deep breath, preparing herself for what she was about to do to her younger teammate.

 

“Yeah, it already happened…about seven years ago.”


	3. Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I don't believe this."

“Seven years?!”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Wh…what’s the date today?”

 

“May 1, 2019.”

 

“I’ve missed seven years…what _the hell_ happened to me?” Kelley uttered in disbelief.

 

“You were in a car accident, Kell.” Alex softly broke the news to her.

 

From her corner of the room, Hope painfully watched the woman she loved have a complete mental break down. Kelley was on the verge of tears and had become strangely silent, something that doesn’t happen if one really knew Kelley O’Hara. Hope looked away, not being able to bear the sight of Kelley at the moment. She also couldn’t help but feel a little guilt.

 

“I…I don’t believe this.” Kelley firmly replied, looking up at her two teammates at the foot of her bed.

 

“Kell, the accident happened almost a month ago…there was a lot of brain damage, obviously. You and Hope were celebrating your…” Alex began.

 

Kelley abruptly put hands to her ears and shook her head, “No! Stop. Stop talking, Alex. I…I don’t want to hear it. I don’t believe this.”

 

Carli noticed a new, and rather fierce, spark in Kelley’s eyes. “Kell, you’re going into shock…you’re in denial.”

 

“No, I’m not.” Kelley felt her breathing get faster as she frantically looked around the room. “Where are my parents?!”

 

Carli calmly replied, “We’ve contacted your parents- they’re on their way to the hospital right now.”

 

“This isn’t real. I…I don’t believe it.” Kelley panicked and blurted out, “What about Ann?”

 

“Ann?” Alex questioned in confusion. Out of her peripheral vision, she could see Hope tense up once again.

 

“I…I want to see her. She…she’d know what’s going on…”

 

“What? And we don’t?!” Hope spoke up for the first time, coming across blunt and rude simply because it was her nature to do so.

 

Alex sighed, “Kelley, I really don’t think that’s a good idea…”

 

Hope felt guilty for lashing out at Kelley just then. It really wasn’t her fault that she woke up in this state. She was just scared and confused. Hope pushed her feelings aside and made her way towards the younger woman. She hated seeing Kelley frazzled, and wanted more than anything to calm her down.

 

“Kell, we’re going to figure this out.”

 

Kelley removed her hand instantly at the touch of Hope’s and broke eye contact with her teammate.

 

“Where’s Ann?” Kelley repeated.

 

Hope grimaced. “Look, I can try explaining what…”

 

Kelley cut her off, “No, please don’t…this is a lot for me right now, and frankly I don’t believe in it. So, Hope, I appreciate your concern, but the only person I feel like talking to right now is either my parents or Ann.”

 

Without another word, Hope exited the room with Carli and Alex following soon after. Alex put a hand on Hope’s shoulder as they all sat down.

 

“I’m sorry, Hope.”

 

“Do either of you have Ann’s number?”

 

“What?” Alex was surprised by Hope’s questions. “Like I said earlier, I really don’t think that’s a good idea…not just for Kelley, but for you too, Hope.”

 

Carli agreed, “Hope, you know how you feel about her.”

 

“I know…but that’s what Kelley wants right now.”

 

“You don’t have to do this, you know.”

 

“I need Kelley back…and if this clears up some things for her, then I’m willing to try it.” Hope pointed out, not taking no for answer.

 

-

 

Carli watched her best friend’s guard immediately shoot up as a certain woman walked towards them. She knew it was killing Hope inside to allow Ann to visit Kelley. Simply put, the two of them had a bad history together when it came to Kelley.

 

Hope stood strong, and without a greeting she nodded towards Kelley’s room. “She’s in there with her parents.”

 

“Hope, I’m sorry…I…” Ann started.

 

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be standing right here.” Hope said in a cold tone, not wanting to converse with Ann any longer.

 

As soon as Ann stepped into the room and Kelley’s parents left, Kelley perked up.

 

“Ann! Oh thank god you’re here.”

 

“Hey, Kell.” As much as Ann wanted to avoid being around her ex, she couldn’t help but smile at the younger woman’s joy at seeing her.

 

“Look, something real strange is going on. Apparently I’ve been MIA for the past seven years! Can you believe that?!”

 

Ann weakly smiled, but then seriously noted, “Kelley, you were in a pretty scary accident.”

 

“Well I know that! But really? Seven years? I just don’t understand how…”

 

Kelley’s voice trailed off as she quickly became distracted by a certain sparkle coming off of Ann’s hands. She softly asked,

 

“I…I didn’t give you that ring, did I?”

 

Ann uncomfortably looked down and played with the diamond ring on her left hand. She confirmed Kelley’s suspicion and nodded her head.

 

Kelley couldn’t believe the sight before her. She choked, “Wh…what happened…between us? You know, I was going to propose. I’ve been thinking about it for awhile now.”

 

Ann swallowed back her feelings and chuckled, “Oh you sure did propose…”

 

“And?” Kelley was begging for answers.

 

“And I said no.” Ann looked down again.

 

“What?” Kelley felt tears brimming her eyes. “Why?”

 

“You changed, Kell…you came back a totally different person after the Olympics.”

 

“What? No…you’ve always been my number one…we did everything together.”

 

“We tried to work things out, honestly, but it just never ended the way we thought it would. We broke things off no more than a few months after you came home...and we did get back together, which is when you proposed…but like I said, Kell, you changed.”

 

“This doesn’t make sense. Why would we break things off?” Kelley couldn’t come to terms with what Ann was suggesting.

 

“Because you love Hope.”

 

Kelley had no words. She searched through her memories and tried her best to remember something- anything. She loved her teammates and had great relationships with them all, but never a relationship like the one she had with Ann…they had known each other for years. So how in the hell did she manage to score with Hope?

 

Ann realized that Kelley was racking her brain for answers, and she really didn’t want to be the one to explain everything to her. Hope had called, asking her to just visit and confirm Kelley’s new reality- nothing more.

 

"Kell, look, I came here because I care about you. I wanted to make sure you were okay and to clear up a few things. But if you want details, you really should talk to Hope."

 

Now it was Kelley’s turn to look away. Although what Ann said pained her, she was starting to come to terms with what was going on. She just had one last question for Ann. She took a deep breath, a quiver in her voice and tears in her eyes evident.

 

“Did I hurt you?”

 

Ann hated thinking about their past and quickly brushed a tear away. “I’m not going to lie and say that you didn’t…I was devastated, Kell. But I’ve moved on…I’m happy. And you’re really happy too- with Hope. Trust me.”

 

“Are…are we at least still friends?”

 

Ann couldn’t help but snicker, “That’s a whole other story…let’s just put it this way- no matter how much I’d like to stay friends, Hope really doesn’t appreciate my presence.”

 

“That’s dumb. Why would she…”

 

“Again, that’s something you need to talk to Hope about. Speaking of Hope, I really should get going.”

 

Kelley pleaded, almost as if she wanted her to stay. “It’s always been you and I, Ann...”

 

Ann shrugged, “Things change…life happens.” And with that, she left the room, almost bumping into Hope.

 

“I know that look, Hope. Nothing happened.” Ann bitterly said in response to Hope’s defensive stance.

 

“Good…goodbye, Ann.”

 

“Goodbye, Hope.” Ann briefly nodded and acknowledged her before leaving.

 

Hope felt relief wash over her. She was sure glad that Ann wasn’t in the same vicinity as her anymore- she never had a good feeling about that girl. She understood why Kelley might’ve been attracted to Ann and how close they were as friends before becoming romantically involved, but ever since Kelley didn’t choose her, Hope hated the way Ann treated her. Their story was complicated, but essentially Kelley had returned from London, completely infatuated with Hope which led her to abruptly breaking things off with Ann. It was a pretty big jerk move on Kelley’s part, but somethings things just doesn’t make sense when it comes to love. But of course, Hope being the closed off individual that she was, chose Jerramy. Hope views that moment as the biggest regret in her life. Kelley, totally devastated, begged Ann to take her back, even going as far as proposing. Ann, being smart for once, refused, knowing she was just the rebound. However, that didn’t mean that she was completely over her feelings for Kelley. In fact, things turned for the worse when Kelley was at her most vulnerable. In revenge for breaking up with her, Ann took advantage of Kelley one night at a bar, where she was completely drunk and in no control whatsoever. Luckily, Hope showed up at the right moment, giving Ann a piece of her mind- and perhaps a shove or two. Hope could never forgive Ann for that.

 

Noticing that Hope was completely lost in her thoughts, Carli tugged on her best friend.

 

“You’re thinking so much that you’re giving me a headache.” Carli failed at being funny and sighed, “Hey, at least that’s over, right? One step at a time.”

 

Hope shrugged, “One baby step, that is…Carli, there’s so many conversations left to have with her. How am I supposed to get through this?”

 

“Just think of this as a challenge…you’re never one to say no to those. I mean, what else does Kelley need to find out about? Telling her details is the easy part.”

 

When Hope didn’t respond, Carli looked over at her friend and by her expression, Carli’s eyes widened.

 

“Oh my god.”

 

“I know.”

 

“You haven’t told her, yet?! Hope, what are you thinking?!” Carli exclaimed, feeling herself panic for the oddly calm Hope in front of her.

 

“Trust me, I’m freaking out internally, too. I’m just better at hiding it.”

 

“You need to tell her!”

 

“Jesus, Carli, we’re only on day two…and you know I haven’t had proper time with her!”

 

“Just tell her before she finds out on her own.”

 

“Don’t worry. I’m planning on talking with her tonight. It just has to be at the right moment.”

 

Carli shook her head. “You know, she’s going to freak.”

 

“No shit, Sherlock…that’s the biggest understatement of the century.”

 

Hope rolled her eyes, and although she appeared rather calm, she was trembling with total anxiety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh...stay tuned! Huge surprise coming your way in the next few chapters ;)


	4. Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hang on to this happy ending.

That night, Hope was finally able to get some much needed alone time with Kelley. She had distanced herself from the hospital for the afternoon, knowing that Ann’s visit probably took a bit of a toll on the young defender. Realizing that Hope was doing her best to respect her personal space, Kelley was more willing to start a dialogue with her teammate.

 

Well,teammate who was also her wife.

 

_Wife._

 

Kelley still couldn’t believe that she fell in love with Hope, or rather, the other way around. Sure, Hope was beautiful, but Kelley never thought beyond that. In a way, she had always been blindsided by Ann. Now that Ann was supposedly out of the picture, Kelley tried to put pieces of her life back together. It truly amazed her that _the_ Hope Solo found her dorkiness worth loving. It really didn’t make sense to her.

 

 _They_ didn’t make sense.

 

Rather than dwelling on it any longer, Kelley decided that these thoughts might be a perfect starting point their conversation that evening.

 

“Hope, thanks for sticking around…I know this is probably just as difficult on you as it is on me, so I really appreciate you taking the time of day to be here.” Kelley began.

 

Hope shrugged in the seat next to the hospital bed and replied, “I’m never going to leave you, Kell…you know that…” Hope caught herself as she realized what she had just said.

 

Kelley shifted uncomfortably and sighed, “That’s the problem… _I don’t know._ ”

 

Without replying, Hope searched through her belongings and pulled out a photobook. She scooted her chair closer to Kelley’s hospital bed and gently placed the book in her lap.

 

Kelley eyed the title of the photobook in her hands and she looked at Hope with confusion.

 

“O’Solo?”

 

Hope chuckled, “That’s our couple name…Solo and O’Hara…O’Solo.”

 

“Oh my god. We’re one of _those_ couples?”

 

“Oh please, thank our teammates for this one. Trust me, you and I put up a fight as soon as we heard that people were giving us this name behind our back. But you know how hardheaded our teammates are…of course, they won in the end. And honestly, they don’t mean any harm by it and the name has actually started to grow on us over the years…”

 

Kelley’s eyes danced with laughter as she just shook her head at Hope.

 

“I guess O’Solo is kind of catchy…”

 

“It’s probably the most dorky thing they could’ve come up with, but hey, it fits us perfectly.”

 

 

“So I know my mom is into crafts and such, but I doubt I was the one to come up with this idea… I didn’t peg you to be the scrapbooking type, Solo.” Kelley raised her eyebrow.

 

“Wow, I’m flattered you would even think I could pull something all cute and fluffy like this…but you’re right, I’m really not the artsy type. Again, we have the team to thank for this. This was the team wedding gift to the two of us…”

 

Kelley now drew her attention to the picture on the cover. It was a picture of the two of them in the middle of a field. However, for once, they weren’t in soccer attire- Hope was in a beige sweater while Kelley was in a dark blue plaid shirt, both wearing a pair of dark jeans. Kelley had jumped on Hope’s back- piggyback style- just like any other twenty something year old who was a kid at heart would do. Kelley had the goofiest grin plastered on her face as she laughed directly at the camera, and Hope had been caught staring at her in complete adoration. By the professional looks of the photo, the picture was most likely part of a larger set of engagement photos.

 

Kelley turned the front cover for it to reveal pen marks, handwriting she automatically recognized as Christie’s.

 

_HS & KO _

_September 14, 2016_

 

_Congratulations! We are all so incredibly happy for you two. Kelley, your unconditional love for Hope is infectious and has made her open up in ways we cannot even begin to explain. Hope, your faith in Kelley is inspiring, evident from the moment she joined the team until this very moment. We know that the road to today hasn’t always been an easy one, but we have been so fortunate to have watched such goodness and love unfold between the two of you. You two really have something special going on._

_Hang on to this happy ending._

_We love you._

_-The Gals_

 

Hope noticed that Kelley had lost herself in the photo and the handwritten message, so she attempted to bring her back to reality.

 

She explained, “So essentially, they gifted us with this photobook- it’s full of memories starting from the 2012 Olympics in London and ends with our wedding…It’s a pretty cool idea, actually. We loved it so much that we made an effort to make photobooks for ourselves every year after this. I just thought this might be a good place for us to start…”

 

Kelley was speechless and found herself turning the page to reveal the first section of the book. The first couple photos seemed to have been taken during various training camps. Most of the pictures were of the team goofing off with one another, but there were a few of Hope and Kelley alone.

 

“Training camp was the same old…but these few camps in preparation for the Olympics were a little different. They sort of kick started our relationship in a way. With you on defense and-”

 

Kelley interrupted, “Defense? I played defense?”

 

 

Hope realized she needed to go in more detail, “Oh, right, well Pia actually approached you with the proposal of making you a defense player for the entire tournament. She felt like the team needed you most there.”

 

“I don’t know anything about defense.” Kelley pointed out.

 

“That’s my point…with you suddenly on the backline, I had to make the effort to get to know you as a defender, as my teammate. Ever since you were called up to the national team, I knew there was something special about you, Kell. You’re a fast learner and you have the ability to be versatile, which makes you very valuable. I honestly wasn’t surprised by Pia’s decision, and I was more than happy to work with you...and honestly, we had a blast.”

 

Kelley noticed that a lot of the pictures were of her following Hope around, often teasing her and lightening up the mood along the way. She flipped through a couple more pages, commenting at the ridiculous Waldo outfits. Hope pointed out a certain photo that had been taken after a game where Kelley was holding on tight to Hope, who was in a blue goalkeeper kit.

 

“Oh wait, stop for a second…I love this picture. You had come up to me after that game and from the look on your face, I knew you had this whole defense thing down. Ever since that game, you gained a surge of confidence on the field…I was really proud of you, kid.” Hope reminisced.

 

They eventually got through the 2012 Olympics section with Hope beaming with pride as she revealed that they had won gold, and that she and Kelley were two out of three players who had played every minute of the tournament together. Kelley couldn’t help but smile as Hope told their story through pictures, but at the same time, she felt a pang of guilt for not remembering a single thing.

 

The next set of pictures encompassed their victory tour, but Kelley quickly noticed that she and Hope appeared in less and less photos together. Their relationship as friends seemed fine, but their usual spark between one another had seemed to die out.

 

Kelley observed, “These were taken post Olympics, huh?”

 

Hope nodded and affirmed her thoughts, “Yeah…we didn’t really see much of each other after that.”

 

“What happened, Hope? Did this have to do with Ann?” Kelley searched for answers.

 

Hope wasn’t looking forward to explaining this part of their relationship- it was their first major rough patch together.

 

“Kell, I don’t really want to dwell on this part, but you have the right to know so I’ll just make it quick. We were on a high coming home from the Olympics- you and I had explored our feelings for each other more in depth throughout the tournament, which resulted in you falling head over heels for me. In fact, you spent the entire Olympic after party with me instead of uhm, Ann...”

 

“I’m assuming she didn’t take that too well, huh?”

 

Hope broke eye contact with Kelley, afraid of what she would think of what she was about to say.

 

“Well, yeah, Ann was upset, understandably…but that wasn’t the real issue at the time. You scared me, Kell. You were all in and I…I wasn’t ready for that. I convinced myself that we were just a fling, even though deep down, I knew we were so much more than that.”

 

“So we broke things off after the Olympics, didn’t we? Well, that makes sense, but what I don’t understand is what Ann was saying earlier…that you…”

 

Hope interrupted and blurted out, “I married Jerramy.”

 

Kelley’s eyes widened, “Jerramy? You mean that guy from college?! I guess we all expected that to happen, but from what it sounds like, our relationship during the Olympics had to have triumphed that.”

 

“It should of…but it didn’t. I’m so sorry, Kell…” Hope hated thinking about this particular memory.

 

“You didn’t fight for us, did you?” Kelley felt herself oddly get worked up over this, even though she had no recollection of the events.

 

“No, I didn’t…” Hope sighed, “I broke you, Kell…you resented me, which I deserved. We didn’t talk for awhile, but I often talked to Alex to check on how you were doing. For awhile, you acted out in many ways, clinging to Ann was just one of your coping mechanisms. You were so heartbroken that you thought marrying Ann would solve your problems…so you proposed.”

 

“And Ann said no.” Kelley murmured quietly.

 

“Yeah…which was the right thing for her to do. She…uhm, still had feelings for you, but knew you weren’t genuine and were proposing to her out of spite for my marriage.”

 

“I probably didn’t take that well either…”

 

“No…you had a really difficult time, Kell, and I hate that I was the reason for it. But you slowly picked yourself back up. Often confiding in Alex, you found a lot of things to distract you I guess…you picked up surfing again and I knew you trained hard with the new NWSL league.”

 

“NWSL?”

 

“Oh yeah, a new women’s soccer league formed…it’s still thriving today. I played for Seattle Reign, and you do now as well. You started with New Jersey’s Sky Blue FC in the beginning though.”

 

“So has women’s soccer gained more attention in the media?”

 

Hope smiled, “Oh, you wouldn’t believe the progress we’ve made…that brings me to the next set of pictures in the book…the 2015 World Cup.”

 

Kelley refocused her attention back to the photobook. After flipping through photos, she noticed that thir relationship still seemed to have lacked the spark that it had during the 2012 Olympics. There was really only one good photo of the two of them, taken directly off of Hope’s Instagram account.

 

“So I guess we still weren’t on the greatest terms during this tournament?”

 

“Well…we were neutral. We were pretty professional about keeping our career and personal life separate. But at the beginning of this tournament, we did have one conversation…you tried one last time to make me realize my mistake. Jerramy and I were having problems, which resulted in a few domestic violence and DUI cases. I’m really not proud of those moments, but of course, you being the forgiving generous soul that you are, you as well as Alex, pulled me aside. You told me how much you still cared for me and how you would support me throughout the entire tournament…you even went as far as joking about divorcing Jerramy. I knew this was all tongue in cheek, but at the same time, I took your words to heart, Kell. This bugged me the entire tournament…”

 

Kelley just nodded, trying her best to soak everything in. She eventually found herself looking at pictures from their semi-final game against Germany.

 

Kelley laughed, “Oh gosh, wow. Look at that kick! I look like a ninja!”

 

Hope laughed with her, but then with pride in her tone, she explained, “That was your first international goal.”

 

Kelley looked directly into Hope’s eyes, not believing what she just said. _Her very first goal._

 

“I…I scored? In a World Cup?”

 

“Yeah, you did, kid. You sure did.” Hope rested a hand on Kelley’s shoulder. “We were all so proud of you…it was incredible. You secured our chance of going to the final!”

 

From the sudden sentimental tone in Hope’s voice, Kelley knew what would be on the following page. She didn’t even have the chance to turn the page when Hope said it.

 

“We won.”

 

Hope paused, knowing that those two words didn’t need further explanation. She felt herself get emotional reminiscing on one of the biggest moments of her life.

 

“We…we’re World Cup champions???” Kelley’s eyes brimmed with tears as she touched the picture of their entire team lifting the trophy together. By physically touching the photo, she had hoped to soak in all the memories that came with it.

 

But nothing came back to her.

 

They won the World Cup.

 

She fulfilled her childhood dream.

 

_And she couldn’t remember a damn thing about it._

 

Kelley felt herself getting overly emotional about all this, and knew she needed to stop. She closed the book.

 

“Wait, there’s a few more pages…” Hope commented.

 

Kelley shook her head, “I…I think that’s all I can handle for right now…”

 

“Oh, okay…”

 

“Maybe we can pick this all up later?”

 

“Uh, yeah…of course. Wait, but Kell, I think…” Hope’s voice trailed off.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Nevermind.” Hope walked towards the door and weakly smiled at the defender, wishing more than anything that she could crawl into bed beside her. “Good night.”

 

“Good night, Hope.”

 

Hope gently closed the door behind her, walking to the nearest waiting room on the floor. She was quickly greeted by both Carli and Alex.

 

“So how did it go?” Carli questioned.

 

“We got through the World Cup…”

 

“And?”

 

“Oh my goodness. Did you tell her?” Alex pried.

 

Hope remained silent.

 

Carli sighed, “Jesus, Hope, get on it.”

 

“I’m trying! It just…wasn’t the right moment.”

 

“Oh screw the right moment! This is far more important than making sure the timing is right.” Alex stated.

 

Hope frowned in distress, “Well how would you go about convincing your wife with amnesia that all these events have taken place over a course of seven forgotten years?! If Kelley can’t go without wincing every time I mention the fact that she’s my wife, then how…”

 

Hope took a deep breath, closing her eyes for a moment. She finally reopened them, looking helplessly at her teammates.

 

“…then how is she going to handle the fact that we have a two year old little girl waiting at home for us?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trust me, that's not the last of the surprises in this story :)


	5. Poppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Damn it, Carli! I told you to keep an eye on her!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy :)

Hope gently tapped on the open door, “Knock knock.”

 

Kelley looked up from her phone, “Oh hey there…I didn’t know you were coming today.”

 

Hope hesitated, “Oh…sorry, I should’ve texted you. Is it okay if I come in?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Hope awkwardly walked into the room, “I brought coffee…it’s from our favorite coffee shop at Pike Place.” She held up the peace offerings.

 

“Oh thank goodness! I didn’t know if I could survive the hospital cafeteria coffee any longer…” Kelley joked as she reached for a cup.

 

“Have the doctors given you a discharge date yet?”

 

Kelley took a sip of her coffee, “Actually, yeah. They just came by- good news, I’m being discharged by the end of the week!”

 

Hope smiled, “I’m glad.”

 

Neither of the two wanted to bring up what would happen after Kelley was discharged, so the room quickly became silent. Hope couldn’t help but think if Kelley would go home with her or not…she had to, right?”

 

Kelley changed the subject, “Now that you’re here, and not that we have anything better to do, I was thinking we could revisit that photo book again…”

 

Hope smiled and nodded, “Definitely.”

 

“Okay, so…after the World Cup…”

 

“Well, obviously, women’s soccer grabbed the media’s attention. There was a welcome home pep rally in LA and then a huge ticker tape parade in New York. We also won best team at the ESPYS. It was crazy, Kell…I don’t think we got any rest that week post tournament, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Our team changed women’s soccer…after the World Cup, attendance at NWSL games multiplied. We finished off the NWSL season on our separate teams- unfortunately, FC Kansas City beat out Seattle Reign in the final, but hey- what a way for Lauren to go out.”

 

“Lauren retired?!”

 

“She did…so did Boxxy and Chalupny. They all played their last games during the victory tour. They’re all really happy today- Lauren and Jrue have a little boy. He’s the most darling kid.”

 

Kelley sighed, “So much has changed…and this is only the beginning.”

 

Hope turned the page and commented, “Okay, so now we’re at the 2016 Olympics.”

 

“Wait…what’s our relationship like at this point?” Kelley sought answers.

 

“Let’s just say there’s something real special about the Olympics…after the world cup, we remained friendly with each other. I actually think the victory tour was the perfect amount of space we needed, and it really benefitted our relationship. Like I said yesterday, I was starting to have problems with Jerramy and come December, we decided our marriage wasn’t going to last- there was nothing between us. There never was, honestly. We filed for divorce by the end of the year.”

 

“What did I think about that?”

 

“You were the first person I called…and you hung up on me.” Hope quietly chuckled at the memory.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“Well it wasn’t surprising…I had hurt you, Kell…if I were you, I wouldn’t want to jump back into things right away. But as we started to train for the Olympics and the next season of NWSL began, you started opening up to me again. We couldn’t help it…we’re made for each other. Things were going so well for us that I even proposed right before Rio.”

 

“ _Seriously?_ ” Kelley repeated, not believing Hope.

 

“Jeez, thanks for your faith in me…”

 

“Well, sorry, I…Hope, you’re so focused on your career. I feel like a proposal would’ve been so distracting right before the Olympics.”

 

Hope nodded, “Yeah, but I didn’t care…I knew you were the one, Kell, and when I’m sure of something, I don’t waste time. Plus, we figured that if we lost the Olympics, at least we could celebrate with a wedding.”

 

“Well, did we win?”

 

Hope grinned, “Uhm, hell yeah!”

 

Kelley looked down at the pictures before her. They reminded her a lot of the pictures taken in London- Hope and herself were all over each other. They were genuinely happy together.

 

“Wow, 2x Olympic gold medalists.” Kelley sighed, “I just wish I remembered this…anything, even bits of pieces.”

 

Hope put a hand on the young defender’s shoulder, hoping that wasn’t crossing too much of a boundary. “Hey, there’s still a chance you might remember…but if you don’t, you know I’ll be here.”

 

Kelley nodded and just turned the page. She shook her head in disbelief at the one picture on the page. The two teammates were beautifully dressed in white, surrounded by their entire team.

 

“Let me take a guess…wedding day?”

 

Hope nodded, “Yeah. September 14, 2016.”

 

-

 

“Yayyyy! There’s a slide! Do you want to go on a slide?!” Carli’s voice rose an octave.

 

On the playground, a little girl looked up at Carli and quickly let go of her hand. With a mischievous smile on her face, she ran towards the swings.

 

“Aw, really? You’re choosing Pinoe?!” Carli sighed in defeat.

 

Pinoe smirked as she stood near the swings and quickly placed the toddler into a swing.

 

“Oh come on, Carli, everyone knows that kids love swings!”

 

“But what about slides? I loved slides!” Carli retorted before taking a seat next to Alex on the playground bench.

 

Poppy London O’Hara Solo.

 

Hope and Kelley’s two year old little girl. With brown hair, hazel eyes, and a dusting of freckles scatted on her face, she was an exact replica of Kelley. Her personality mirrored Kelley’s as well- she was never without a bubbly or smiley attitude.

 

Their entire team _adored_ this little girl. Everyone fought for her affection, especially Pinoe and Carli. Hope and Kelley had chosen Carli and Alex to be her god parents, and although Poppy loved them both, she always gravitated towards Pinoe.

 

“You’re hilarious, you know that?” Alex shook her head as she smiled at her friend, who was watching Poppy giggle loudly as Pinoe pushed her on the swings.

 

“I’m supposed to be her favorite!”

 

Alex rolled her eyes, “Oh please, Pinoe’s got you on that one…you would think with her big personality and all, she’d be the one least trusted on the team to take care of a kid.”

 

“Hey, Hope and Kelley didn’t make us god parents for nothing.”

 

“Very true…but still, watching you and Poppy is probably one of my favorite things in the world. Carli, you’re one of the great soccer players in this world, so composed on the field. And yet, when it comes to a toddler, you’re like a chicken without a head. You think you’ve got everything under control, but you really don’t, do you?”

 

Carli sighed without responding. She knew Alex was right and eventually gave in, “I’m a terrible babysitter.”

 

“Yeah, you are…but you love that little girl to pieces.” Alex smiled.

 

“She’s Hope and Kelley’s kid...how could you not fall in love with her?” Carli pulled out her phone and absentmindedly asked, “What time is it?”

 

Alex smirked, “Carli, will you calm down. You’ve asked that question like three times in the past hour.”

 

“Sorry! I’m just nervous.”

 

“Look, Hope said she’ll text us…have you received a text?”

 

“No.” Carli said in disappointment. “Not yet.”

 

Giving Poppy a piggyback ride, Pinoe strolled over. “Why the long face, Carlos?”

 

“Stop calling me that. Poppy’s going to catch on.”

 

Alex interrupted, “Carli here is a little anxious to get to the hospital.”

 

“Oh, has Hope texted?” Pinoe asked.

 

“No…”

 

“Well then chill out, Llyod!”

 

“Will you please just call me Carli like everyone else?”

 

“Never going to happen.” Pinoe smiled, but continued, “Why do you want to rush getting to the hospital?”

 

“Well…I don’t know. It’s just we’re doing so well here…it’s 11 AM and Poppy hasn’t had a meltdown yet. I’d like to keep it that way until we bring her to her parents. So why don’t we just get going?”

 

“Carli….be patient.” Alex cautioned.

 

“Oh come on, if we get there a little early, it won’t hurt.”

 

Carli convinced her friends and they were all off to the hospital in no time. They finally arrived and headed straight for the waiting room on the same floor of Kelley’s room. After waiting for half an hour, Carli began to pace.

 

“Will you sit down?! You’re making me nervous.” Alex said.

 

Pinoe agreed, “Jeez, even Hope isn’t this nervous- and she’s the one who has to break the news to her!”

 

Carli was about to respond when she felt a tug at her legs. “Yes, Poppy?”

 

“Hungry!”

 

Carli looked up at Alex and Pinoe in panic. “Oh shit. I forgot to pack snacks!”

 

Alex rolled her eyes again, “Language, Carli!”

 

“Uh…sorry. Oh, wait! It’s okay- I have emergency fruit snacks in the back seat of my car. Let me run and get those.”

 

Pinoe looked at her teammate sheepishly, “Oh I thought those were game for anyone!”

 

“You ate Poppy’s emergency snack!?” Carli’s eyes widened.

 

“Hey! There was no label!”

 

Poppy was starting to get fidgety and tugged on Carli again, “I’m hungry!”

 

Carli picked the toddler up, trying to distract her. “Can someone call Hope? What’s taking so long?!”

 

-

 

Hope felt her phone buzz a few times and after checking the texts from Alex, she rolled her eyes, not believing that Carli had forced them all to get to the hospital without her telling them. Hope excused herself for a quick second just to peer outside the room. Carli was down the hall with a frantic look on her face, and Hope instantly regretted stepping out of the hospital room when her daughter spotted her. Alex grabbed Poppy and Hope quickly moved out of sight, not wanting to cause any more commotion.

 

Hope suddenly felt her palms begin to sweat as she returned her attention to Kelley, “Uhm, so yeah…that was our wedding.”

 

“Looked like a lot of fun.” Kelley commented.

 

Hope tried to rush things, knowing her friends were in the waiting room, “Okay, so after the Olympics, I retired…”

 

“You? _Retired_?” Kelley’s jaw dropped.

 

“Well…uhm, there were other things I wanted to focus on…” Hope began to tread water slowly.

 

“Hope Solo seriously wanted to focus on something other than soccer?” Kelley teased incredulously.

 

“Look, Kell, there’s something I really need to tell you.”

 

Kelley suddenly noticed the uneasiness of Hope’s tone. “Hey, are you okay?”

 

“Kelley, this is going to sound…” Hope was interrupted by voices yelling down the hall. She instantly knew this entire conversation was going downhill real fast.

 

_“Uh, guys? Where’s the kid?” Pinoe calmly asked._

_Carli’s voice was heard, “What do you mean where’s the kid? She’s right…oh. Where’d she go?! She was right here, I swear.”_

_“Damn it, Carli! I told you to keep an eye on her!” Alex yelled, spotting Poppy halfway down the hallway._

As if on cue, Kelley watched a little girl suddenly run into the room. Hope sighed, slightly annoyed at their friends. She picked up the toddler and turned to face Kelley, not really sure what to say.

 

Kelley suddenly felt herself staring at an exact replica of herself- brown pigtails, hazel, eyes, and freckles. She instantly realized what Hope was trying to tell her, but the little girl was quick to beat her at her thoughts.

 

"Mama!!!"


	6. Give It A Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How am I supposed to take care of a child when I’m just a kid myself?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for waiting! Here's the next chapter :)

Kelley felt all color drain from her face. She was pretty sure she had stopped breathing, too. The little girl kept crying out to her, but honestly, all she could hear was white noise.

 

This couldn’t be happening.

 

Kelley’s reaction definitely did not go unnoticed in Hope’s eyes. Knowing Kelley was drifting into a state of panic, Hope left the room. She almost bumped into Carli, and once realizing it was her friend, she glared and placed Poppy in her arms. Poppy, of course, had no idea what was going on. Not only was she being restrained from Kelley, but now Hope too. Her cries turned into shrieks.

 

Hope quickly rushed back into the hospital room and kept her distance at the foot of Kelley’s bed. She didn’t know what to say so she just stood there, anxiously awaiting for Kelley to say anything.

 

Kelley eventually found her voice and stuttered, “Sh…she’s really ours?”

 

Hope nodded, “Yes.”

 

Kelley ran her hand through her hair and muttered, “Unbelievable.”

 

Hope was quick to apologize, “I’m sorry…I know I should’ve told you sooner, but…but it’s a lot, you know? I felt like I needed to say a certain few things first before…” Hope started to ramble.

 

“What’s her name?” Kelley gently interrupted.

 

“Poppy.”

 

Kelley sighed, knowing that Hope was speaking the truth. If she ever had a little girl, she knew she had wanted to name her that. 

 

“Poppy London O’Hara Solo.” Hope expanded.

 

“London…because of the Olympics, yeah?”

 

Hope nodded, “We thought it fit well…and it speaks a lot about us.”

 

Kelley winced at the little girl’s cries right outside the door. She questioned, “Does she always get upset like that?”

 

“What’s happening out there is something we like to call a Poppy Tantrum, which thankfully, doesn’t happen all too often. She’s a pretty easygoing kid.”

 

“But those shrieks…”

 

“She’s just hungry…and you know, she really hasn’t seen you in three weeks. And I haven’t been around much either, so you can’t really blame her…” Hope began.

 

Kelley held her hands up in defense, “Hey, one minute ago I was excited about being an Olympian and now I’m a mother to a two year old kid. So sorry if I don’t know how this parenting thing works…”

 

“Well, I didn’t expect you to know.” Hope cut her off rather abruptly, not liking Kelley’s tone of voice. She was quick to apologize though, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you like that.”

 

Sensing the tension in the room, Kelley spoke gently, “I just…I don’t know if I can do this.”

 

“Kell, I’ll be right here with you.”

 

Kelley was about to respond when another shriek was heard outside. She believed her motherly instincts kicked in when she quickly suggested, “Will it help if you bring her in here?”

 

Hope tilted her head, “Are you sure? I can ask Carli to take her home, if you’re not quite ready for all this. It’s a lot to process, I understand.”

 

“I’m eventually going to have to do it anyways…so why not now? I just hate hearing her cry. It’s heartbreaking.”

 

Hope smiled weakly, “She has that effect on a lot of people.”

 

Hope was glad that Kelley hadn’t lashed out, not that she expected her to. With her personality, Kelley tended to gravitate towards kids. She was the stronger parent of the two, if you will. And though she was getting better each day with little Poppy, Hope wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Within minutes, Hope returned with a tear-stained faced toddler. As soon as Poppy recognized Kelley, she almost leapt out of Hope’s strong grip. She had missed her mom, and wasn’t too keen with Hope since she had given her away to Carli not too long ago.

 

“Mama!”

 

Hope gently placed Poppy down by Kelley’s side, but the toddler quickly climbed on top of her mother and nuzzled her little head into the crook of Kelley’s neck. Just like her mother, she too had an extremely poor sense of personal space.

 

Hope loved the both of them for it.

 

Kelley carefully placed her hand on the child’s back and whispered in the most motherly voice she could muster, “Shhh…it’s okay.”

 

Poppy was quite upset, but her cries began to subside and all that was heard was a couple bouts of sniffling. Kelley continued to rub circles on her back as it seemed to be one of the few things that calmed her down.

 

Hope softy commented, “See? You’re a natural.”

 

Kelley looked up at Hope, offering a weak smile. She didn’t reply though, scared that if she said anything, the toddler would begin to cry. So Kelley just laid there, holding Poppy close and being truly amazed at the feeling of Poppy’s heartbeat against her own. She felt entitled, sort of like owning a pet of her own.

 

But this was an actual human.

 

 _Her_ tiny human.

 

Eventually, the mother and daughter duo dozed opp. Hope sat contently in the chair beside them, watching them sleep peacefully. She never thought she’d be one of those individuals who dreamily watched people sleep- that was creepy as hell. But this was an exception. Something about the way Poppy clung to her mother and the way Kelley naturally wrapped her arms around their little girl melted the tough goalkeeper’s heart. 

 

Even despite the recent events, Hope felt like the luckiest individual

 

The following morning, Kelley woke up in the exact same position. Instantly startled by the sleeping body on her, she was suddenly reminded of her reality. She felt herself begin to panic. Luckily, Hope stirred awake around the same time and seeing her wife’s uncomfortable expression, she quickly pried their daughter off of Kelley and explained she would take her home for the rest of the day.

 

-

 

Alex dropped by the day before she would be released from the hospital, knowing that her friend would need someone to talk to.

 

Kelley sighed, “I really don’t know what to do, Al.”

 

“Well…what are your thoughts?”

 

“I’m just so…conflicted. I wake up each day feeling totally normal, but then something happens and it suddenly hits me that I’ve literally missed out on seven years of my life. Like for example, I’m laying here watching TV and something comes on that reminds me of Ann and I grab my phone to text her, and then…I stop myself. Because she’s not mine anymore.” Kelley’s expression drops.

 

Alex quietly asked, “Do you still have feelings for her, Kell?”

 

“Well, yeah…I’m Kelley from seven years ago, so of course I do. Alex, how am I supposed to forget about someone who was my better half?” Kelley struggled with her feelings.

 

Alex didn’t like where the conversation was heading. She, like Hope, never got good vibes from Ann. She knew Kelley and her were great friends, and it sort of made sense why they were attracted to each other. But at the same time, they didn’t click.

 

At least not in the way that Kelley and Hope did.

 

But of course, Alex knew about everything the goalkeeper and defender went through to get here. Kelley didn’t. To this “new” Kelley, there existed no bond with Hope. Alex tried to salvage the conversation anyways.

 

“Kelley…I know you don’t feel it, but you and Hope have something really special. You two bring out the best in each other.”

 

“I wish it was easy for me to believe that, Alex, but I just can’t…I have nothing to go off of! No experiences. How am I supposed to be head over heels with someone who’s only ever been a teammate to me?”

 

Alex chuckled, “Well…I don’t know about that, Kell.”

 

Kelley realized what her best friend was inferring and scoffed, “Hey! I was drunk!”

 

“Okay, but still, things just roll off your tongue when you’re drunk- and they’re honestly not too far off from what you’re actually feeling.”

 

Kelley crossed her arms, “Fine, I’ll admit…Hope’s cute.”

 

Alex laughed, “ _Cute_?! Oh come on, Kell, I think you’re looking for another word.”

 

“Okay, okay…sorry if I was drunk that one night and admitted I’ve had a thing for Hope since like…college or whatever. But you know that ever since I joined the team, I’ve only ever viewed her with respect. Her personality…you know it clashes with mine. We’re total opposites. I don’t think of her that way anymore.”

 

“But you’re supposed to!” Alex couldn’t help but exclaim. She caught herself, “Sorry, Kell…I just…look, trust me on this, Hope’s come a long way. Seriously, you two even have a kid together.”

 

Kelley remained silent as soon as Alex brought up Poppy. Noticing her friend begin to shut down, Alex gently asked, “Kell, how are you doing with that?”

 

“What do you think?”

 

“Well how did it go yesterday? When Hope brought her in?”

 

“Fine, I guess…we fell asleep together. I mean, not much happened honestly. I just still don’t believe it though.” Kelley admitted.

 

“You’re going to grow close to Poppy, I just know it.”

 

“I hope so!” Kelley sighed and worriedly looked at Alex, “How am I supposed to take care of a child when I’m just a kid myself?! I don’t know what being a mother is like…I don’t have a maternal bond with her because I don’t remember being pregnant! I don’t remember the process I had to go through to get there. I don’t remember the day Hope and I made that decision. I don’t remember me and Hope. I don’t remember us ever _being._ ”

 

“But you just _are_.” Alex tried convincing her friend, “You just need to trust in this new reality.”

 

“So you think I should give this all a shot then?”

 

“You mean going home with Hope tomorrow? Yeah, I think that’s a good idea. Just see where it goes…it wouldn’t hurt, right?”

 

“I don’t want to hurt them anymore. I see the look in Hope’s eyes…she’s devastated that I don’t remember anything. But I can’t help it. Maybe it’s better if we don’t…” Kelley got quiet.

 

“If you don’t what? What would you do if you didn’t go home and try living this life with Hope…with Poppy?”

 

“I don’t know…I guess I’d go home to Georgia. Try and get my life back on track- I mean, not _this_ life…but _a life_. I don’t know. I should just start from scratch.”

 

“And leave Hope and Poppy alone?!”

 

“Al, please don’t put it that way…”

 

“Kelley, please, just give it a shot, okay? What happened to your sense of adventure?”

 

“Really? You’re calling this an adventure? It’s not a joke.”

 

“I’m not saying it is…just, ugh, Kell work with me here. I know you…you’ll bounce back fast. Just give this a chance.”

 

Kelley sighed, not fully agreeing with Alex, but she wasn’t one to back down from a challenge. Alex eventually left, leaving Kelley alone with her thoughts once again. She went back and forth all night, not getting much sleep.

 

But she eventually made her decision.

 

And before she knew it, she was walking through the front door of a home she’d never seen before in her life. As soon as she saw pictures of her and a tall blue eyed keeper plastered all over the wall straight ahead, ones she had no recollection of ever taking, she felt sick to her stomach.

 

Maybe this wasn’t the right decision after all.


	7. Second Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the most important things in her life was her family, and while Hope and Poppy were somewhat like strangers to her, they were still family. And family was worth a second chance.

Kelley was overwhelmed.

 

Just like she had predicted, she was having an extremely difficult time getting back into the swing of things. Hope did her best to make her comfortable and explain things as often as she could, but Kelley just couldn’t see herself in this life.

 

She felt like she didn’t belong.

 

Kelley slept in the guest bedroom, not at all ready to even address her and Hope’s relationship. She tried to put on a happy demeanor for Poppy, but she’d often just get let down since she knew nothing about the two year old, let alone how to take care of a child. Little things bothered her such as not knowing where the dishes went in the kitchen or failing to know that Poppy’s favorite afternoon snack consisted of a banana and chocolate milk, and that if you forgot to feed her, she’d probably throw a fit.

 

Kelley felt useless.

 

Surprisingly Hope was a saint through all this. No matter how many questions Kelley asked or how often she made mistakes, Hope would remain calm and often time she’d just say something along the lines of “Don’t worry about it” or “You’ll get the hang of this in no time.” She was patient with Kelley, and while that was greatly appreciated, Kelley felt like it was incredibly unfair. If she was having this hard of a time connecting, it wouldn’t be fair to Hope or Poppy to lead them on.

 

These type of thoughts filled Kelley’s mind on a daily basis, especially at the dinner table where the three members of the family ate in silence, other than Poppy’s exclamations here and there.

 

Kelley picked at her food and glanced across the table at Hope, who also had her head down. Dinner finally ended as they finished cleaning up, Kelley finally had the courage to say something.

 

“Hey, can we talk?”

 

“Yeah…of course. Uhm, let me just give Poppy a bath and get her ready to bed.”

 

Kelley tried to offer, “Do you need help with that?”

 

Hope shook her head, “No, I’m fine. Don’t worry about it…it’ll go much faster if I just do it alone.”

 

“Oh, right…okay.” Kelley awkwardly left the kitchen to wait in her room.

 

Moments later, Hope finally put Poppy to bed and knocked on the guest bedroom door. She wasn’t particularly looking forward to talking with Kelley, having a slight idea of what their conversation entailed. She sat beside Kelley on the bed, but making sure she kept her distance as well.

 

Hope broke the silence and quietly asked, “This isn’t working for you, is it?”

 

Kelley looked down and nodded slowly.

 

The pair sat in silence for what seemed like forever until Hope had enough and sighed, “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

 

“I’m sorry. I thought I could do this, but I’m overwhelmed…this is too much for me.” Kelley finally admitted.

 

Hope pleaded, “It’s only been a few weeks…”

 

“I know, but I don’t belong, Hope.”

 

“Yes you do. I’m here, you’re here…it doesn’t have to be like this, like there’s been a change.”

 

“It doesn’t have to be, but it is…I can’t help it, Hope. I just don’t feel anything when I’m here.”

 

Hope swallowed, “Well what are you going to do?”

 

Kelley shrugged, “I need to go home for a bit…to Georgia. Talk through some things with my family and such. I’ve been talking to Jill as well…if I train with the team over the next couple of camps, I can keep my spot on the roster for France.”

 

“You’re seriously still thinking about the World Cup?”

 

“I haven’t experienced it before!” Kelley exclaimed, but then lowered her voice, “I just…I want to catch up on all the things I’ve missed, and I don’t think it’s fair to bring you along for the ride.”

 

“But Kell, that’s what I’m here for…you can play soccer or do whatever really, and I’ll always be here to support you. Me and Poppy.”

 

“Don’t you get it? I don’t want you guys there!” Kelley responded harshly before sighing, “That came out wrong. I’m sorry.”

 

“Please, Kelley, just reconsider this…”

 

“I’ve made up my mind, Hope.”

 

Hope knew she had lost the argument and slowly got up to leave without another word. The next day, Hope watched her wife slip through her fingers as she packed her bags and got on the first flight out of Seattle.

 

-

 

About a month passed without any contact.

 

The first week was especially hard with Hope making calls to Kelley almost every other day. She really just wanted to make sure Kelley was doing alright, but Kelley felt the need to completely break things off in order to get her thoughts in check. So often times when her phone rang and Hope’s name flashed across the screen, Kelley would simply hit the red button to decline the call. Soon, Hope’s calls became less frequent.

 

It was nice to be home in Georgia, or rather in a familiar environment. She spent much needed time with her family and had space to really think about things- about the next step. She quickly realized that she still needed soccer in her life, so she accepted Jill’s offer to train with the team, who conveniently set up part of camp in Atlanta.

 

Although she enjoyed her time alone, not a day went by without Kelley thinking of the family she left behind on the other side of the country. She felt guilty about her decision, but also knew it was in her best interest at the time. But now that she had the chance to clear up some things without them physically around, she began to entertain the idea that this new reality was feasible. She didn’t one hundred percent like it, but she was willing to give it a second chance.

 

Camp went well- much better than she had expected. It was nice to see all her teammates and friends again, and to her surprise, they barely brought up her car accident and memory loss. Everything started to feel normal.

 

On the last day at the end of practice, Kelley sat down next to a certain teammate and began untying her cleats. She didn’t know what possessed her to do so, but she began a conversation.

 

Kelley quietly asked, “How is she doing?”

 

The older teammate looked straight ahead and squinted at the sunlight. Her response was vague, “Better than expected.”

 

“Carli, please…is she alright?”

 

Carli finally turned to face Kelley and disappointedly asked, “You really couldn’t pick up the phone? Just once?”

 

“I needed a break.”

 

“The least you could do is keep in touch…she cares about you, Kell.”

 

“I know…and I feel awful, but I needed to do this for myself.”

 

“Like I said, she’s doing better than expected. She’s upset, but I think Poppy’s a good distraction.”

 

“How’s Poppy?”

 

Carli smiled at the thought of her god child, “Annoyingly cute, as always.”

 

“I’m glad she has you in her life.” Kelley weakly smiled.

 

“She needs her mom, you know.” Carli countered.

 

Kelley sighed, “Look, I really want this to work, but it’s hard. I don’t remember anything!”

 

“Well yeah, but you also don’t have to go all in.”   

 

“All in?”

 

“Yeah, you know…you can’t expect everything to work out in a week or two. It’s going to take much longer than that to feel like you belong again. Why don’t you start with Poppy?”

 

“I’m not mother material.”

 

“Sure, you are. You just don’t know it yet. If Hope Solo can do it, I’m sure you’ll be just fine.” Carli reasoned.

 

“I don’t know, Carli…”

 

“Kell, even before you and Hope became a thing, it was clear to all of us that family was important to you. If that’s still true, which I’m pretty sure it is, you’ll find a way to make this work.”

 

Kelley sat in silence, letting Carli’s words sink in. What she had just said was very true. One of the most important things in her life was her family, and while Hope and Poppy were somewhat like strangers to her, they were still family. And family was worth a second chance.

 

So that very night, Kelley picked up the phone and dialed a certain goalkeeper.

 

“Hello? Kell?”

 

“Hey…I’m thinking about coming home. Will you pick me up at the airport?”


	8. Patience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She hadn’t held Kelley like this for so long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for sticking with this story. Enjoy the quick update!

After landing, Kelley made her way towards baggage claim. Her eyes searched through the crowd, eventually finding a tall brunette hovering in the corner. Kelley made her way towards her, oddly quickening her pace as she went. When she finally reached the older woman, Kelley wasn’t sure what exactly possessed her at the moment but she leaned in for an embrace. Hope sighed in relief and gladly wrapped her arms around her wife. She hadn’t held Kelley like this for so long.

 

Kelley closed her eyes, strangely feeling comfort in Hope’s arms- like she was the only one in the world who would love her under any circumstance. Although she couldn’t imagine such a commitment like marriage quite yet, Kelley knew that she and Hope always had a good relationship on the team, and not once did she ever feel uncomfortable around the stoic and so called intimidating goalkeeper. She also started to realize that she had never been close to Hope like this before, and her senses started to pick up every little detail. Kelley couldn’t tell if it was a special perfume or not, but Hope’s scent was the perfect mix of mocha and pine. If the Pacific Northwest had a designated scent, Hope was the epitome of it.

 

So she breathed in, savoring the moment as well.

 

Hope looked down at Kelley and leaned her head against her, whispering, “I haven’t seen you smile for so long.” Kelley’s smile only widened, for she was particularly happy with the moment.

 

But without thinking, Hope’s automatic reflexes kicked in and felt herself bend down. She knew this was the wrong thing to do, but it was too late. She felt her lips just barely brush up against another, gone almost as fast as they touched.

 

Kelley took a small step back as a deep shade of pink crept up her face. She looked side to side in completely awkwardness, feeling like everyone was staring at her. She cleared her throat and quickly changed the subject, “How’s Poppy?”

 

Hope silently cursed herself for ruining the moment, but responded, “She’s good. Pinoe offered to watch her for the night so I could pick you up and get you settled in.”

 

“Oh okay.” Kelley still felt the stiffness of the air around them, so she decided to deflect it with the only way she knew how to: with humor. She raised her eyebrow and looked accusingly at Hope, “Wait did you say Pinoe? Really?”

 

Hope smiled, feeling the tension going away. “Look, it sounds bad, but Pinoe is actually our go to sitter. She’s fun and Poppy loves her, much to Carli’s dismay of course…I told her that’s what she gets for choosing to live across the country and not on the west coast best coast.” Hope laughed.

 

Kelley smiled, and the flow of the conversation seemed to get easier from there on out. The pair eventually got home later that night after stopping by Hope’s favorite Italian restaurant for dinner. Kelley unpacked her belongings, still in the guest bedroom as she wasn’t quite ready to fully move in with Hope. That wasn’t quite her intention for coming home.

 

As Kelley settled in, Hope felt restless thinking back on their awkward encounter at the airport. She got to the point where she physically could not sit still anymore and found herself with two cups of coffee, knocking gently against Kelley’s door.

 

“Can I come in?”

 

“Yea, sure.” Kelley’s voice called out from inside. As the door revealed Hope, she jokingly acknowledged, “Oh wow, there’s room service?”

 

“I made us some coffee.”

 

“Oh thanks, but I don’t…”

 

“…like caffeine before going to bed, I know. It’s decaf with hazelnut creamer and…”

 

“And a touch of caramel?”

 

Hope smiled and nodded, “And a touch of caramel. Here…” She handed the cup to Kelley who gladly took a sip.

 

“How did you know this is my favorite evening drink?”

 

“Kell, we’ve been together for years…” Hope reminded her, slightly saddened by the fact that she even had to do so.

 

“Oh right, yeah.” Kelley awkwardly took another sip.

 

Hope broke the silence once again by starting off with, “Look, about earlier at the airport…”

 

“I wanted to talk to you about that, well about all of this, really.” Kelley interrupted, but continued, “I’ve had a lot of time to think and I just wanted to make sure you and I were on the same page.”

 

“Right, okay…”

 

Kelley looked honestly into Hope’s eyes and softly admitted, “I want you to know that I would do anything to gain my memory back…I want to be able to remember this because it seems like a pretty great life. But the reality is, I don’t remember. And I’m having a really hard time with that because I can’t get to where you are simply because I have no experiences to base any of this off of. It’s going to be really difficult for me to just see this as ‘normal’ when I’ve literally lost seven years of my life.”

 

“It’ll get better with time.” Hope said with optimism in her tone of voice.

 

“I’m hoping that’s the case…I just don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep, but I do know for a fact that I want to put all my effort towards Poppy. Family is important to me and I don’t think she should be robbed of one because of my own shortcomings. I’m not going to let myself get in the way of that.” Kelley stated sincerely.

 

“Yeah, of course.” Hope nodded in full agreement.

 

Kelley took a deep breath and continued, “But this also means that you’re not my first priority, okay?” As soon as those words flowed out of her mouth, she could tell Hope’s heart was sinking. She guiltily continued, “Right now, I need to focus on being a mother…that’s all.”

 

Hope looked at the helpless and vulnerable woman beside her. She understood where Kelley was coming from, but at the same time, frustration began to settle within her. It killed her that things were this way. But she knew that if Kelley was going to get better and trust her again, she needed to be patient. So she accepted Kelley’s proposition, holding on tight to every ounce of patience inside of her and prayed it would be enough.


	9. France

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We were a really happy family, huh?”

Before everyone knew it, the 2019 World Cup was well underway. As expected, the U.S came out on top in their group, but they knew it wouldn’t be an easy path to clinching gold once again. With a majority of the team retiring after the previous Olympics, there were unfamiliar faces in the mix, thus making those like Alex, Ali, and even Kelley the so called “veterans” of the team. Nevertheless, the depth of their team was incredible and they were more than capable for another huge win.

 

“Takes you back to Canada, doesn’t it?”

 

Hope felt Abby nudge her in the side and she simply nodded, “Oh yeah, definitely…the gals look good though.”

 

Abby, who became an advisor for the USWNT soon after retirement, nodded in agreement, “Oh definitely…we have some very promising replacements.”

 

Hope jokingly looked offended, “Let’s be real here, no one can replace us.”

 

Abby rolled her eyes, “You know what I mean.” She laughed, “But yeah, I understand…I miss playing every day.”

 

Hope weakly smiled as she watched, from the bench, the women on the field do drills that have been burned into the back of her mind. “So do I…but I wouldn’t trade it for what I have today.”

 

Abby looked at the small figure sleeping soundly in Hope’s arms and helped remove a strand of hair from her face. She commented, “I’m surprised this little one hasn’t woken up from all the screaming and whistle blowing.”

 

“She was up all last night…we’ve been having jet lag issues ever since we arrived.” Hope explained, yawning as she did so. “Trust me, if she was awake right now, we’d be chasing her up and down the field, and she’d be especially cranky.”

 

Abby chuckled, “The joys of parenting, huh?”

 

Hope smiled, “Wouldn’t change a thing.”

 

Abby followed Hope’s gaze downfield towards a certain defender. She added, “Kelley’s doing great.”

 

“That’s good…this has been really good for her, so thanks for helping convince Jill she deserved a spot on the roster still.”

 

“It’s Kelley we’re talking about here…one of the most versatile players in our history as a team. We won’t be able to win this tournament without her. How are you two doing by the way?” Abby sincerely asked.

 

“We’re doing okay.”

 

“Care to expand?” Abby pressured her friend.

 

Hope sighed, “Kelley’s getting used to Poppy. They get along quite well, which of course isn’t a surprise…I’m really happy Kell is forming that bond, but at the same time, I…I miss her.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“It’s not the same anymore…and Kelley just isn’t willing to put in much effort into _us_. I’m not number one in her life, and I’m struggling to come to terms with that. But you know, I just have to be patient and let time run its course.”

 

“You guys will make it out of this just fine…it’s you and Kell. Anything can happen, remember?” Abby smiled reassuringly.

 

Abby and Hope continued to watch practice from the sidelines. Poppy eventually woke up, recharged with energy Hope did not bargain for. Abby did her best to help entertain her, but there were a few times when Poppy would mindlessly run to the field in search for Kelley.

 

Hope quickly turned around and looked towards her feet. Realizing that Poppy had already made it halfway down the field she muttered to herself, “Dang it.”

 

Meghan and Morgan were able to intercept the small toddler. They both gave Poppy a quick kiss on the cheek as she squirmed in their arms.

 

Morgan exclaimed, “Ugh, why do you have to be so darn adorable!”

 

Meghan pried Poppy’s hands away from her hair, “Adorable, but also annoying when it comes to pulling out my hair…why does she do this to me? I don’t even have that much of it!”

 

Morgan rolled her eyes, “Oh quit complaining about your precious hair.”

 

Pinoe and Carli quickly joined their two teammates. Pinoe was quick to scoop the little girl away, tossing her in the air. “Pop! Pop! Pop!”

 

Carli’s eyes widened as she scolded her teammate, “Pinoe, be careful with my god child!”

 

“She’s fine…this is the _Pop_ py game, get it?” Pinoe snickered as she threw the toddler into the air again.

 

Hope finally made it to her group of friends and apologized, “I’m sorry for keep interrupting practice. She’s a handful.”

 

Morgan pointed out, “You’ve got a runner here, Solo. You better watch out.”

 

Meghan nodded, “Makes sense- Kelley holds the fastest beep record on the team. No wonder your kid is a sprinter.”

 

Kelley had jogged over, noticing a group forming at midfield and catching the tail end of the conversation “Who’s a sprinter?”

 

Hope shook her head, “Unfortunately, you and our child. I was just going to take her off the field.”

 

Kelley quickly responded, “Oh don’t worry about that. I just talked to Jill and she says we’re ending practice early anyways.”

 

Before anyone could answer, Poppy’s attention had quickly shifted towards Kelley’s direction ever since hearing her voice. Her eyes sparkled and her expression lit up as she squirmed out of Pinoe’s grasp and ran towards Kelley.

 

“Mama!” Poppy exclaimed.

 

Kelley bent down and engulfed the toddler into a hug. She smiled, “Hey little one.”

 

“Go?”

 

“Yeah, we’re all done.” Kelley nodded as she stroked her little girl’s hair.

 

By now, Ashlyn and Ali had joined the group. Ashlyn suggested, “Hey, we were thinking of spending the rest of the day at the park a few blocks down from the team hotel. The kids can have space to run around and it’ll be nice to take our mind off the game for a bit.”

 

Everyone seemed to like that idea and soon they all reconvened at the park. While the afternoon was meant to be soccer free, the gals couldn’t help but bring a few soccer balls to pass around.

 

“Mom! Look at what I can do!” A four year old boy exclaimed while rushing up to Ali and doing a soccer trick.

 

“Nicely done, Jack!”

 

Another seven year old ran up and added, “I taught him that!”

 

Amy smiled at her own son, “Good on you, bud. Keep it up you two.”

 

Kelley, who was sitting at the park table with Ali and Amy, observed, “Those two are best of friends, huh?”

 

“Jack adores Ryan…makes sense, they’re the only two boys around here.” Ali replied.

 

Amy agreed, “Yeah, too bad Christie couldn’t make it over here. Rylie and Reece would have been great entertainment for little Poppy.”

 

“I think Hope’s got that under control, honestly.” Ali laughed as she commented.

 

Kelley followed Ali’s gaze over to the patch of grass that the rest of the team had gathered on. She particularly watched as Hope placed Poppy on her shoulders and continued to run after the ball. Something about Hope and little children always made her insides melt, and the fact that she shared a daughter with her only added to her soft feelings. She had never seen Hope smile so much in her life when it came to that little girl.

 

The evening eventually came to the end and the team decided to turn in for the night. On the walk back to the team hotel, Poppy had fallen asleep once again, exhausted from playing. Kelley gently handed over the two year old girl to Hope and whispered, “Good news, she should be out for the rest of the night…you’ll finally get some sleep.”

 

Hope held Poppy close, “Thank goodness…I’m just glad we’re on a different floor from you all. I feel sorry for the people next to us. There’s no doubt she’s woken them up throughout the night.”

 

Kelley offered, “Are you sure you don’t need me to help you out? You look pretty tired yourself.”

 

Hope refused, “No, no…I’m fine. Kell, your sleep is more important than mine right now. Plus, this all comes with being a parent, doesn’t it? Really, I don’t mind.”

 

Kelley looked at Hope in awe. She couldn’t believe how much Hope changed.

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Hope raised an eyebrow.

 

“I…I just never expected any of this.” Kelley further explained, “I never knew you wanted a kid.”

 

“Me neither.”

 

“How’d we get here then?” Kelley looked for answers.

 

“I never saw a Poppy in my future, honestly…you were the one to convince me, Kell.” Hope looked down at Poppy endearingly and softly kissed her freckled face. “It was the best decision we’ve made together. I have no regrets.”

 

A part of Kelley melted as she watched Hope stare at their daughter in adoration. The amount of love Hope showed for their daughter, who was biologically Kelley’s, truly amazed the younger woman. She only wished she knew how this all came to be.

 

Kelley whispered, “We were a really happy family, huh?”

 

Hope sadly smiled in return, thinking back on all the memories that Kelley would never get to experience again. She nodded as gently took hold of Kelley’s hand and squeezed it, “Yeah, we were…and we still are.”

 

With that one touch, Kelley felt all the security she needed. But as soon as Hope let go and her doubtful thoughts took over her mind, that sense of security vanished into thin air.

 

-

 

They won their fourth star that summer in France.

 

The excitement and buzz at the final game was just like Hope remembered it to be in Vancouver. When the game ended and the team infamously lifted their trophy, Hope released Poppy onto the field. She watched as the little girl made a beeline towards Kelley, who gladly picked her up and swirled her around. Both Hope and Kelley loved the fact that they could share this with Poppy, who was more fascinated by the confetti than the actual win.

 

With Poppy still in her arms, Kelley happily bounced over to Hope, crushing her with a hug. Hope chuckled and congratulated her wife, who obliviously ran off to celebrate with more of her teammates. Hope sighed and while she was so happy for Kelley, she couldn’t help but cringe as she walked off. She wanted more than anything to spend time with her and _truly_ congratulate her, with a celebratory kiss and all. Hope didn’t know how much longer she could take of this relationship, or lack thereof.

 

She ached to feel Kelley’s touch again.  


	10. The Perfect Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something about the moment, something about the way they were just so comfortably placed next to each other, sent adrenaline rushing through Hope’s body and before she knew it, she was leaning in.

The following months after the World Cup were hectic, but surprisingly normal. Hope figured that Kelley was just coming off a high from maintaining her world champion status, but nevertheless, she would take what she could get. There was no doubt that Kelley and Poppy had developed a special bond between one another, so Hope felt optimistic for the development of their own relationship. She was especially looking forward to some alone time with Kelley as her mother offered to Poppy off their hands for the night.

 

Kelley watched as Hope walked through the door with a few bags of groceries. “Need a hand?”

 

“I’m good for now- but do you want to go ahead and preheat the oven?” Hope said as she took of her soaking wet rain coat.

 

Kelley nodded and walked into the kitchen. Hope joined her and began getting prep materials out of the cupboards, much to Kelley’s surprise. With a confused expression on her face, Kelley sifted through the bag of groceries.

 

“Where’s the pizza?”

 

“We have to make it, silly.” Hope laughed.

 

“Wait, when you said we’re having pizza tonight, I thought you meant we’re just going to pop a pre-made one into the oven. I didn’t know we’re actually rolling dough and cutting up toppings and such.” Kelley’s face filled with wonder.

 

“Kell, I’m a pretty damn good pizza maker. It would be insulting to my Italian heritage for us to buy a pre-made one.”

 

“Heck, I didn’t even think you knew what a rolling pin was.”

 

“Do you want pizza tonight or not?” Hope eyed Kelley as she put her hands on her hips.

 

Kelley chuckled to herself and just started unpacking the grocery bag. She held up a small white log, “What is this? It looks like playdough.”

 

Hope’s jaw slightly dropped, “That’s fresh mozzarella!”

 

“Fresh mozzarella? Wow, you really take this Italian heritage thing seriously.”

 

“Oh, just give me that.” Hope snatched the piece of cheese from Kelley’s hands. “I picked up some red wine as well. You know, I think it would amuse you to know that I’m the main cook in this family.”

 

Raising an eyebrow, Kelley replied, “Really now? You’re just full of surprises, aren’t you?”

 

Hope just smirked as she rolled out her homemade dough, “Oh you don’t even know.”

 

Kelley just shook her head and throughout their pizza making night, she caught herself staring at Hope every once in a while. She was definitely full of all sorts of surprises, and Kelley loved that she was slowly learning more about her. She had never seen Hope open this much to her before, and while she knew that people generally felt comfortable around her, never in a thousand years did she think she would have this effect on Hope Solo.

 

After dinner, which Kelley found surprisingly good, the two women curled up on their living room couch. Before sitting down, Hope turned on their fireplace, feeling a bit chilly with winter just around the corner.

 

“Oh good call. I’m freezing!” Kelley grabbed the nearest available blanket.

 

“We can turn up the thermostat, you know.” Hope began walking towards it to do so.

 

Kelley shook her head and just patted the spot next to her, “No, it’s okay. Just come sit. I like to cuddle anyways…between body warmth and this blanket, we’ll be just fine.”

 

Hope was caught slightly off guard by Kelley’s sudden suggestion. She just smiled and sat down on the couch, tugging on the blanket and making sure it covered the both of them. Hope’s heart skipped a beat as Kelley scooted closer. A million years could go by and she would never get used to her touch.

 

“This is what I call the perfect evening.” Hope sighed happily.

 

Kelley smiled in return, “I’ve always had a thing for this. As much as I love summer, nothing can beat cozying up by the fire on cold winter nights…that just sounded super sappy, I apologize.”

 

Hope smirked, “Why do you think I love Seattle so much? Trust me, I understand.”

 

Kelley laughed, and something about her laugh was truly music to Hope’s ears. With the reflection of the fire flickering in Kelley’s hazel eyes, Hope felt herself lose control. Shadows were perfectly casted over Kelley’s face, highlighting her constellation of freckles, another weakness that Hope had. Kelley was beautiful. Something about the moment, something about the way they were just so comfortably placed next to each other, sent adrenaline rushing through Hope’s body and before she knew it, she was leaning in. What surprised Hope the most was the following.

 

Kelley didn’t object.

 

Kelley felt her hands cupping Hope’s face, bringing her in closer. It had been a long time since she kissed someone like this, and she only craved more. Hope took this as a sign to keep pushing further, and soon she gently laid Kelley on her back. The flames in their fireplace weren’t the only ones in the room anymore. Things were quickly getting heated and just as Hope’s hands started to wander, Kelley placed her own against Hope’s chest.

 

Almost out of breath, Kelley breathed heavily, “Hey…we need to slow down.”

 

Hope felt defeated. They had gotten so close. She distanced herself and sat upright on the couch once again. She didn’t know what to say, so she gritted her teeth and apologized, “I’m sorry.”

 

Kelley sadly shook her head, the spark slowly dying out in her eyes. “No, it’s okay…I’m sorry it has to be this way.”

 

Hope couldn’t bear the tension between the two and knew she needed to cool off. She decided, “I’m going to make some tea. Do you want some?”

 

Kelley nodded, “Sure.”

 

She watched as Hope slowly got up and disappeared into the kitchen. She sighed. What just happened between her and Hope surprised her almost as much as the sudden rush of adrenaline she experienced earlier.

 

There was something special between them.

 

Kelley knew it. She _felt_ it. Something was definitely there, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She could feel, but she wasn’t feeling enough. The bond between them lacked substance- it lacked memories. If this had been their very first kiss, it would be different. But after three years of marriage, Kelley felt like their moment was lacking. She liked Hope, and was very much attracted to her. But she wasn’t quite sure if she was worth a commitment.

 

Hope came back with two cups of tea and slipped under the blanket once more. Kelley leaned up against her chest, and although Hope hated the fact that this was as far as they could go, she gladly wrapped an arm around the younger woman.

 

Curled up against one another, Kelley followed a hunch she had been having for a while now and softly muttered, “Something tells me it was never this easy.”

 

Hope was somewhat startled by Kelley’s statement. “Why would you say that?”

 

Kelley shrugged. “I can just feel it.”

 

Hope sighed. Even without her memories, Kelley could read her like an open book. She admitted quietly, “Well, you’re right…we were a mess.”

 

By the reluctant tone of Hope’s voice, Kelley felt the need to only pressure her more. With her head still nuzzled into Hope, she locked eyes with her and said, “Tell me everything.”

 

Kelley could tell that Hope wasn’t willing to share. She already had a hard time opening up, and it seemed like this part of their relationship was something she liked to keep tucked away.

 

Kelley begged, “Please.”

 

Hope knew that it was only right for Kelley to know how the two of them came to be, especially if they wanted to strengthen the relationship they were building at the moment.

 

“Things were complicated in the beginning, and the road short after was quite as bumpy as well. We spent most of the 2012 Olympics just getting to know each other, and things just escalated really quickly. It was strictly physical for a while, but we soon realized that we couldn’t avoid our emotions any longer. You gave your everything to the relationship, Kell. And it amazed me and frightened me, all at the same time. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to care for me the way you did…to love me, despite all my flaws.”

 

Hope took a sip of her tea and continued, “Things went downhill after we returned home…”

 

“That’s when you and Jerramy got engaged, correct?” Kelley clarified.

 

Hope nodded, “Yeah…I thought that getting married would make me forget about what we had. I’ve never been so wrong in my life…we weren’t just a fling, Kell. You knew that from the beginning…I didn’t. And I’m sorry…I’m sorry for breaking you.”

 

Kelley was fully intrigued, “What do you mean?”

 

“By cutting you off like that, I destroyed you. You had no idea why I did what I did, and I didn’t even bother to talk things through with you.” Hope swallowed back tears, “You were so broken, Kell…I won’t ever forget what Alex would tell me- how you cried yourself to sleep almost every night and how frustration and anger turned you into someone so bitter, someone so…unlike you. You turned to Ann, and hated me with every ounce of your being. And frankly, I deserved that.”

 

“But you turned things around…obviously.”

 

“Yes, but it took me awhile…I couldn’t acknowledge what we had until the moment Jerramy and I filed for divorce. But that whole time…you fought for us. Well, you never stopped fighting for us. And I think that’s what saved me…saved us.”

 

“Hey, stop being so hard on yourself.” Kelley tried to speak some comforting words.

 

Hope shook her head, “No…I was so selfish and blindsided by my stupid insecurities. Trust me, if you remembered the way I made you feel, you wouldn’t be saying that.”

 

“I still married you anyways.”

 

Hope smiled at that memory, “Yes, you did…and I thank God every day for giving me a second chance.” Hope’s tone of voice suddenly became serious, “But Kelley, I want you to know that no matter what I put you through, I knew from the very beginning.”

 

“Knew what?”

 

“That you were the one. It was our last night in London together…and I just knew.”   

 

The sincerity in Hope’s voice affected Kelley as she just laid against Hope in silence. She was frantically searching through her mind to gain a glimpse of anything she shared with Hope.

 

But there was nothing.

 

All she could remember was her early days on the national team, and the most recent ones winning gold for the second time. There was a huge gap, and she couldn’t fill it no matter how hard she racked her brain.

 

Kelley mumbled, “We really had something special, didn’t we?”

 

That question sent knives through Hope’s heart. She thought by now that Kelley would’ve remembered something…how could she not?   

 

“You don’t feel anything?” Hope sounded crushed.  

 

Kelley admitted, “Not necessarily…there’s something. I know…I just can’t attach anything to it. I’m trying though, Hope. I really am.”

 

Hope just held Kelley close, hoping that by some miracle, her memories could be transplanted to the younger woman- and hopefully very soon for she slowly felt her mind, and heart, giving up.


	11. Decline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We made it today, but I don’t even know if we’ll last until tomorrow.”

While their night alone felt like their relationship was moving in the right direction, Hope and Kelley soon realized it was far from progress. In fact, their relationship between one another had become incredibly stagnant. Of course, this wasn’t any different to Kelley. She never knew what they had before, so she didn’t let it worry her. But it was different for Hope.

 

And she was _really_ bothered by it.

 

Kelley was just another guest in the house. She was physically there, but definitely not emotionally. No matter how many times Hope would explain things, she felt like Kelley never took it to heart. She was a good listener, but often times, her feelings never quite matched up.

 

No more attraction.

 

No more lust.

 

No more love.

 

And Hope wanted more than anything to be loved. To feel secure. Kelley had made her feel that once- and it seemed like such a long time ago. Hope wasn’t sure if she could handle it anymore. She could feel herself declining.

 

Her thoughts quickly vanished as a small human flew past her legs, just avoiding a small collision. Hope watched her daughter giggle loudly and disappear around the corner.

 

“Poppy? What are…”

 

Hope didn’t even finish her sentence as another body flew past her. Kelley seemed to be on a chase. Curious, Hope followed her little family into the next room and watched as Kelley caught up to their little girl and threw her into the air before tickling her on the floor.

 

Poppy squirmed under her mother, “Mama! Stop! Stop! Stop!”

 

“What? What did you say? You’re laughing too loud!” Kelley jokingly continued to tackle the little girl.

 

“No! M…Mama!” Poppy could barely speak now. She was laughing too hard.

 

Kelley’s eyes sparkled as she eventually stopped harassing their daughter. She sighed, “I love you, little squirrel.”

 

Hope watched from afar, and while she did her best to remain happy, she felt an uneasy feeling rise in her throat. She was envious. Not of Kelley, but of Poppy, who seemed to have Kelley wrapped around her little finger. She was Kelley’s number one.

 

Not Hope.

 

And Hope never wanted to be put first before their daughter, but she didn’t really want to be second either. They were all supposed to be on the same level. And for some reason, Kelley just wasn’t opening up to her and she had no idea why. She had opened up to their little girl, so why not her?

 

“Hope? Did you hear me?”

 

Hope shook her head, bringing herself back to the moment. “Hm?”

 

“Are you ready to go to the park?”

 

“Oh, right.” Hope remembered their little family outing. She felt herself pull back, “Uhm actually, Kell, I think I’m going to stay home.”

 

Kelley noticed the wariness in Hope’s voice and replied, “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah, yeah…I’m fine.” Hope lied. She tried convincing Kelley, “Carli’s actually in town and I thought it might be nice to catch up with her, if that’s okay with you.”

 

Kelley nodded, “Oh yeah, I forgot she was here for a few days. Sure, no problem. I’ll take Poppy out by myself…you’ll be home for dinner?”

 

Hope sighed in relief, “Yeah…I’ll see you then.”

 

“Okay.” Kelley bounced up and picked up Poppy, “Come on little gal, let’s go get your jacket.”

 

As soon as the two left, Hope drove over to the hotel Carli was staying in. Answering the door in surprise, Carli tilted her head,

 

“Hope?”

 

“Hey.”

 

“What are you doing here? I thought we weren’t meeting up until tomorrow.”

 

“Do you have time to go for a run?” Hope forcefully asked.

 

Knowing that there was a certain insistence in Hope’s question and thus could not say no, Carli simply nodded, “Let me put on my running shoes.”

 

As soon as they left the hotel in downtown Seattle, Hope took off in a sprint. Carli was able to keep up for a few miles before she found it hard to stay at Hope’s unusually fast pace. Normally Hope would run a steady jog, but she was pushing herself way too far. They ended their run eventually, both completely out of breath.

 

Carli plopped herself onto a bench as Hope did some post run stretching, “What’s gotten into you? I could barely keep up with you today.”

 

Hope stared straight ahead, maintaining her stoic composure. Noticing she wasn’t going to reply, Carli tried again, “Alright, spit it out.”

 

“What?”

 

“I know there’s something you want to talk about…it’s unusual for you to stay quiet the entire time we’re running. We usually make small talk here and there. What’s bothering you?”

 

“It’s Kelley.”

 

“No surprise there.” Carli blandly replied.

 

“She’s killing me.”

 

“You guys must’ve made some progress by now…”

 

“I don’t know…not really. We had a nice evening the other night, but ever since then, I feel like everything’s stayed the same, if not going downhill- on my end, of course.” Hope started to explain.

 

“Do you feel yourself shutting down?” Carli knew her friend too well.

 

“Yes.” Hope sadly mumbled, taking her seat next to Carli.

 

“You know you can’t let yourself do that.”

 

“I can’t help it. I’m already distancing myself…I blew them off today to be with you.”

 

Carli frowned, “Well gee, thanks. Now I feel terrible.”

 

Hope let out a small smirk, “I’m joking…but still, I’m starting to feel suffocated around her.”

 

“Around Kelley? What? I thought the problem was the other way around…I thought she’s not spending enough time with you.”

 

“Well yeah, but it’s my thoughts that are suffocating.”

 

“Hope, how many times have we talked about you overthinking things, especially when it comes to Kelley? It gets you into trouble, you know.”

 

“I know…it’s inevitable.”

 

Carli shook her head, “I already know things are going to get worse between you two.”

 

“Great…thanks.”

 

“But I also know you’ll end up okay…I told Kelley that too. You two just need to keep hanging on to that.” Carli advised.

 

“She’s trying, Carli.” Hope admitted, “She really is…but there’s nothing! She believes there’s nothing, and gosh, it’s starting to get to me. What if she’s right? What if our relationship wasn’t supposed to last?”

 

“Oh Jesus Christ…here we go again.” Carli muttered.

 

Hope sighed, “We should be talking about having a second kid by now…about expanding our family. This isn’t how…it’s just…this isn’t how I pictured things for us.”

 

Carli pointed out, “Out of all people, you should know you can’t plan for these type of things. You’ve said it yourself- life is unpredictable. You know that.”

 

“Yeah, well I also know I don’t deserve happy endings.”

 

“Oh give me a break, Hope. Don’t even go there.” Carli felt frustrated talking to her friend.

 

“Well it’s the truth, isn’t it?”

 

“Drop it, Hope.”

 

Hope exclaimed, “I knew this would happen! My guard comes down, I become vulnerable and open myself up to something so radically different than I could’ve ever imagine, and I get screwed over like this.”

 

“Look, the important thing to remember here is that Kelley isn’t the one screwing you over. Life is.” Carli tried to defend Kelley.

 

“Same thing.”

 

“No, Kelley is supposed to pick you up as life screws you over- that’s her job, and she’s pretty damn good at it too, considering how far you two have made it today.”

 

“We made it today, but I don’t even know if we’ll last until tomorrow.”

 

“Thanks for pointing that out, Ms. Pessimistic.” Carli rolled her eyes.

 

Hope ignored her friend and continued to vent, “We worked _so_ hard to get to where we are today and it went to waste within a matter of seconds. This isn’t fair!”

 

“All’s fair in love and war.”

 

Hope scrunched up her face in confusion, “What? That doesn’t make sense.”

 

“I tried.” Carli chuckled, hoping to relieve some of the tension. But she realized her little joke didn’t help as Hope just sat on the bench in defeat. She didn’t like the expression on Hope’s face- it reminded her way too much of the Hope she knew after coming home from the Olympics.

 

The Hope that was about to make a bad decision.

 

“Hope, listen to me…don’t do anything stupid.”

 

“I can’t promise you that.”

 

Carli closed her eyes, irritated by her friend’s stubborn personality. “Just think before you act, okay? And please…just no…”

 

“No what?” Hope finally faced her friend, knowing what she was about to say, but wanted to see if she’d actually go through with it.

 

Carli’s stared burned through Hope. “No alcohol.”

 

As soon as the words left Carli’s mouth, Hope stood up to leave. She nodded goodbye, completely ignoring her friend’s last few words. She hated that Carli would even think that- but at the same time, she was in the right mind to do so.

 

Because that’s exactly what Hope was going to turn to in the midst of this huge mess.

 

As Hope walked through the doors of the nearest convenience store and opened the fridge door to the cold beverage section, she cursed her best friend for knowing her too well.


	12. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Where have you been?”

Hope awoke to laughter coming from the kitchen. Noticing the time, she realized it was a lot later than when she normally woke up. It had been a long week, so no wonder she had decided to sleep in once the weekend arrived. She slowly made her way to the kitchen and half-smiled at the sight in front of her.

 

“Mommy!”

 

Hope moved closer to the little girl sitting on their countertops. Eyeing the baking spoon covered in what appeared to be chocolate, she raised an eyebrow, “What do you have there, sweetie?”

 

“Chocolate!”

 

“Chocolate?” Hope frowned. She looked over towards the oven where Kelley stood with her back to her. She was just about to question the younger woman, but caught her breath when she turned around.

 

Covered in flour and some sort of chocolate batter, Kelley let out a huff. 

 

Hope forced herself to stifle a laugh, “Oh wow, Kell…”

 

“Stop judging me.”

 

“Well it’s a little hard not to…” Hope wondered, “What are you trying to make?”

 

Poppy interjected, “Brownies!”

 

“Brownies? Okay first off, it’s ten in the morning. Don’t you think that’s a little early for dessert? And second, brownies are probably one of the easiest things to make…how can it be this hard? You literally have more batter on yourself than in the oven.”

 

Kelley defended herself, “It’s always a good time for brownies! And it’s not my fault that I have a three year old for a helper.”

 

Poppy laughed, “Me help!”

 

“Kell, let’s face it…you’re an awful cook.”

 

“Hey! We made pancakes earlier and that was a success, right Poppy?” Kelley turned to their daughter.

 

Poppy’s face scrunched up in disgust, “Yucky.”

 

“Oh come on, you’re supposed to be on my side! They weren’t that bad! A little doughy, but overall I’d give them an 8 out of 10.”

 

Hope smirked, “See? Even Poppy knows that no one can beat my blueberry pancake recipe, Kell…but I applaud you for trying.”

 

“Oh shut up, Martha Stewart.” Kelley joked.

 

“What did you call me?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“I am _nothing_ like Martha Stewart.” Hope took a step forward.

 

Kelley backed away and stuttered while laughing, “S…sorry. I didn’t mean to…”

 

Before Kelley could finish her sentence, Hope had her arms wrapped around the younger defender. She playfully held her in a locked position.

 

“Hope, let me go!” Kelley squirmed. “I’m going to get flour all over you!”

 

Hope and Kelley locked eyes, and once again, Hope couldn’t refrain herself and she quickly gave Kelley a quick peck on the lips. Kelley froze and awkwardly cleared her throat.

 

“Uhm, I better start cleaning up.” Kelley gently shoved Hope away.

 

Hope sighed, clearly frustrated, “Really, Kell? Was that really too much for you?”

 

Kelley remained silent, and Hope just exited the kitchen, knowing she’d regret what she would say if she had stayed. She cooled herself down before approaching Kelley once more later that day. She decided she would try and salvage their relationship one last time.

 

Noticing that Hope had stepped into her room, Kelley looked away, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Well I do.”

 

“Can we just forget about it?”

 

“No! I…I don’t know how long I can handle this.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Our relationship is going nowhere!”

 

“Okay…”

 

“And it’s like you don’t even care…like you’re not even phased by the fact that I’m over here waiting patiently for you.”

 

“Waiting for what?”

 

“For you! For you to…to just be _you_.”

 

Kelley shrugged, “Well this is reality now, Hope. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

 

“You’re not even trying! For God’s sake, I…I just want to be your _wife_.” Hope accused bluntly.

 

“What do you want me to do?! I don’t remember us the way you do!”

 

“I know that! And it sucks, but at the same time, I’m willing to start fresh and just…” Hope’s voice trailed off.

 

“I can’t just do that. It takes me awhile to build a relationship with someone.”

 

“We’re married! I don’t know how else you’re going to be forced into this!”

 

“Forced?” Kelley questioned. “That’s not how I want to do things.”

 

“Then what do you suppose we do? We can’t keep doing this whole in-between thing where you’re sort of here and you’re sort of not.”

 

“Look, I love Poppy…I’m trying to make this as normal as possible for her. And I simply can’t picture you in my life right now…you know, like in a romantic way.”

 

Kelley looked at the taller woman helplessly. She knew she wasn’t giving Hope the answers she wanted, but she was scared. She felt like without the last seven years of her life, she didn’t deserve Hope or even Poppy…she didn’t deserve them as family.

 

Hope felt herself shutting down, so she just left before things got heated anymore. At least a conversation had been started, and she hoped that things might get resolved on their own…but she was wrong. Over the next few weeks, Hope distanced herself even more.

 

Coming in late one night, Hope tried to sneak off to her bedroom when a voice stopped her.

 

“Where have you been?”

 

Hope sighed, turning around to face a confused Kelley. “Just out.”

 

“Honestly, where do you go? This is the third time this week that you’ve come home so late.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, Kell.” Hope stumbled into the door frame, losing her balance.

 

Kelley continued, “Poppy keeps asking for you…you normally put her to bed. She won’t get in bed for me, so I have to watch a movie with her until she falls asleep on her own.”

 

“Poppy can manage without me.” Hope’s eyes fluttered as she squinted at the light that Kelley had just turned on.

 

Kelley knew Hope wasn’t quite herself. She suddenly realized, “Oh my god…are you _drunk_?”

 

Hope snorted, “No!”

 

“You’re drunk.”

 

“It…it was just a few drinks. I’m fine.”

 

“Have you been going out to drink this whole time?!”

 

Hope slurred her words, “I…I’ll be fine…”

 

“Hope, you can’t be reckless like this.” From what Kelley remembered hearing from other teammates, Hope and alcohol was never a good mix. She heard how out of control the goalkeeper could get, and how often times, anger management became a huge issue.

 

“Stop telling me what I can and can’t do.” Hope sounded fierce.

 

Kelley was slightly put off by the sudden shift in voice. She stood her ground, “If you keep resorting to alcohol…then…then how do I know you won’t hurt the kid?”

 

Hope sarcastically replied, “Oh you’re one to talk.”

 

“What?”

 

“Do you know how much you’ve hurt Poppy…and me?” Hope wasn’t making much sense now.

 

“Poppy? I never…I thought we were okay…and look, I’m sorry about…” Kelley stuttered.

 

“Drop it, Kell…it’s not like you remember things anyway. You won’t remember this come tomorrow.”

 

“What?” Kelley repeated. “Hey, that’s not how my amnesia works…you’re not making sense. You’re the one who won’t remember this tomorrow.”

 

“I’m tired, I don’t want to do this now.”

 

“Hope, I’m sorry…” Kelley could see the pain in Hope’s eyes- how much she had hurt the older woman.

 

“It’s fine. I’m used to this anyways.”

 

“Used to what?” Kelley asked, afraid of what Hope’s response would be, especially with all the talking the alcohol had done lately.

 

“Used to feeling alone.”


	13. Too Late

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kelley sat in the passenger seat, ready to burst into tears at any given moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments! Just a fair warning- this chapter is a big one. Prepare yourself, and let me know what you think :)

Just like Kelley predicted, Hope barely remembered their little encounter the night before. She knew something happened- that they talked. Although she didn’t remember every little detail, Hope knew that the words exchanged must’ve caused some tension because Kelley did her best to avoid her. She wasn’t much she could do about it- to be honest, she was getting real tired of fighting for their relationship.

 

Meanwhile, Kelley was experiencing quite a lot of guilt, and after confronting Hope the night before, she felt even worse. She was really trying her best, and she felt like she was doing well with Poppy, but she couldn’t picture herself with Hope. There was no doubt they had chemistry, but Kelley found herself very reluctant to take things further. It just didn’t feel like she deserved any of this without the memories and feelings attached to it.

 

Her heart was somewhere else.

 

And while she felt like it no longer belonged to Hope, Kelley still wanted to be on a good terms with Hope. She still cared.

 

While both Kelley and Hope knew they needed to talk, they knew they first had to endure the weekend together. For the holidays, Kelley’s entire family, and close friends, would block out one weekend to just spend time together. This year, they chose the San Juan Islands as their choice holiday destination. With the islands only being a few hours away from Seattle, there was no way Hope and Kelley were getting out of this one. Plus, it was tradition.

 

Yet, the small family agreed to go just for a day, claiming they had other events going on with this weekend. Knowing how these family gatherings worked, Hope wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. She loved the O’Haras, especially Kelley’s immediate family (like her parents and siblings), but her extended family and friends could be too much at times. They were loud and goofy, sort of like Kelley, and while she found Kelley’s antics endearing, Hope still preferred the quietness of her own life. She also knew a huge part of why she didn’t like the annual holiday gatherings was because of a certain person’s presence.

 

Ann.

 

Whether she liked it or not, Ann would always be invited to the major O’Hara family gatherings. She was close to them, which often caused great conflict between Kelley and her parents. Kelley had found it super awkward that her ex-girlfriend was close to her family and always advocated for her to not be invited, just for the sake of her own and Hope’s. But they never took her opinion to account, and thus Ann was always welcome. They learned how to manage it, but Hope was a tad bit wary of the weekend with Kelley’s “condition.”

 

Once arriving at the lodge Kelley’s parents had rented out for the weekend, the small family was bombarded by everyone.

 

“Where’s that grandchild of mine?!” Karen, Kelley’s mother, exclaimed.

 

Poppy giggled and ran towards her grandmother, whom she was close to. “Grandma!”

 

“Ah, there she is! Wow, you’re getting so tall.” Karen gushed as she picked up her granddaughter.

 

As she hugged her father, Kelley rolled her eyes, “That’s what every grandmother says.”  

 

Dan O’Hara smiled, “Any hugs left for Grandpa?”

 

Poppy squealed with joy and held her hands out, giving him a great big hug and kiss on the cheek. After hugging her own daughter, Karen hugged Hope as well, greeting her, “It’s so good to see you guys. How are you doing?”

 

Hope put on her best positive expression, “We’re doing alright…just hanging in there, day by day.”

 

“That’s what we’re all trying to do, isn’t it?” Dan nodded in agreement.

 

Before she could reply, Kelley’s extended family members began approaching them. Uncles, aunts, cousins, family friends all began to greet them. Many “How are you?” and “Wow is that Poppy?! She’s so adorable” questions and statements were exchanged. The last person to approach the duo was Ann.

 

“Hi, Kell. It’s so good to see you.”

 

Hope cringed at the way Kelley’s nickname so smoothly rolled off her tongue.

 

Kelley responded, “Hey, Ann. It’s good to see you too.”

 

She couldn’t help but think how good Ann looked. It had been awhile since she saw her last and she missed her old friend. No matter what Hope said about her, Ann was special- she really had no reason to dislike her (well, she didn’t remember anyways).

 

Hope cleared her throat and nodded, “Ann.”

 

“Hope.”

 

Their cold greeting sent shivers down Kelley’s spine. Whatever happened between the three of them was definitely unfinished, and it was quite disconcerting. Nevertheless, Kelley found herself gravitating towards Ann for most of the day, doing her best to catch up. They had an eventful day, mostly sightseeing (or rather Hope showing everyone the island since she had been up there countless of times). All in all, they had a pretty decent time together and the day ended with the entire family talking stories into the night.

 

Ann jumped up from her seat, “I’m going to make some tea. Would anyone care for some?”

 

After a chorus of “yes,” Kelley, too, stood up, “I’ll help you with that.”

 

Hope cringed for the second time that night. There was a sudden spark in Kelley’s eyes, and she wasn’t very fond of it- a spark that wasn’t meant for her.

 

Kelley followed Ann into the kitchen area, “You still don’t do coffee in the evenings, do you?”

 

Ann smiled as she took mugs out of the cupboard, “Nope…not ever since that one night…”

 

“The night I tripped and spilled coffee all over you at Grandpa’s 80th?” Kelley chuckled, “You couldn’t get that coffee smell out of your hair for days.”

 

“It gave me a migraine!” Ann laughed.

 

Kelley loved hearing her laugh. It reminded her of old times- of how simple everything used to be. She sighed, “You know, I’ve had a great time catching up with you today.”

 

Ann caught her breath, knowing this was heading south real fast. Yet she responded, “Likewise.”

 

Kelley couldn’t control her movements and before she knew it, her face was an inch away from the brunette.

 

“I miss what we had…I miss you.”

 

Ann gulped, not believing the effect Kelley still had on her. She knew Hope was just in the other room and she knew that getting this close to Kelley was taking advantage of her. It wasn’t fair, and she should’ve been the adult here and push the younger woman away.

 

But she didn’t.

 

Instead, Ann inched closer, closing the gap and breathing in. She was hesitant at first, but deepened the kiss as she felt Kelley cup her face. The sparks were definitely still there, at least in Kelley’s mind. Kelley begged for entry, but felt Ann stumble backwards and look to the floor.

 

And that only meant one thing.

 

Kelley swallowed her guilt and slowly turned around, her fears confirmed.

 

Hope stood in the doorway, her heart breaking into millions of pieces.

 

Kelley, too, looked down, not wanting to face the so called “wrath” of the angry older woman. She expected yelling, cursing, and even some throwing of objects. But none of that happened. She watched as Hope made her to the fridge, grabbing a carton of chocolate milk, presumably for Poppy. Kelley slowly looked back up and locked eyes with the former goalkeeper right before she left, and that’s when she knew.

 

Hope wasn’t going to fight for them anymore.

 

She could see it in her eyes. The devotion and love that was only ever for her was now nonexistent in Hope’s eyes. Walls were going back up and she wasn’t allowed in anymore. Kelley felt a sinking feeling, knowing she just hurt, more like destroyed, someone she cared significantly about.

 

All she could do was whisper and plead, “Hope…”

 

But the taller woman left without a word. Ann and Kelley refused to talk to each other for the remainder of the evening, which wasn’t very long. Kelley sat in silence, anxiously awaiting Hope’s signal that they had to leave. She was surprised they had stayed for as long as an hour after the kitchen incident. Kelley assumed that Hope was trying to stay as normal as possible, but she was breaking inside and enough was enough. Hope needed an out, so they used the weather as the excuse. It had started to rain, and they decided it would be best to get home before the major storm hit. They said their goodbyes in a rush, and within minutes, they were on their way home.

 

Kelley knew this couple hour drive home would feel like eternity.

 

 

And she couldn’t have been more right.

 

They sat in complete silence until the sound of the rain shook their car, frightening Poppy and resulting in a tantrum mixed of fear and exhaustion. With the loud sound of the rain and the toddler’s screaming in the back, Hope had enough. She broke the silence.

 

“Poppy, it’s okay…Poppy, shhhh… _please_.” Hope pleaded for silence. After ten more minutes of endless crying, Hope’s voice rose in frustration and desperation, “I swear to God, Poppy, I’m going to pull over…”

 

Kelley could hear the exasperation in Hope’s voice. She knew that Hope’s impatience particularly tonight was a result of her own shortcomings. She pitched in,

 

“Poppy, you’re okay…it’s just rain.” Kelley’s voice trembled as she reached into the backseat to hold the little girl’s next.

 

They would remain like that for the next twenty minutes, until Poppy cried herself to sleep and the rain was reduced to a steady pitter patter. Kelley had gotten a cramp in her shoulder for reaching out at such an odd angle, but the pain didn’t faze her-nothing could triumph the emotional distress she was in.

 

They endured the rest of the ride in silence. Hope stared straight ahead, not daring to deviate from the sight of the road, and only gripped the wheel tighter and tighter as they got closer to home. Kelley sat in the passenger seat, ready to burst into tears at any given moment. At one point, she made the mistake of looking over to the driver’s seat, catching a glimpse of the pain flickering in Hope’s eyes as she stared into the headlights of a passing car. She vowed to never do that again.

 

After what seemed like eternity, the family arrived home. Hope swiftly got out of the car, gently unbuckled her daughter, and carried her inside. She gently tucked Poppy in bed, her heart starting to pound and beat faster than before knowing that once she was done, she would have to face everything she spent the last three hours trying to avoid.

 

Once shutting the door to the little girl’s bedroom, Hope was now in the hallway. Kelley stood a couple feet away. Hope looked down at her feet and brushing up against the wall, in attempts to make her way past the teary-eyed brunette.

 

“Hope, please talk to me.”

 

Hope stopped walking, knowing it would do neither of them any good if they didn’t talk about it now. She wasn’t going to get sleep anyways. She contemplated whether or not to turn around for what seemed like forever- enough time that she could hear Kelley’s soft cries begging her to stay.

 

“Hope…”

 

Hope found the courage to face the woman who was the sole reason for her broken heart.

 

“What do you want me to say?”

 

“J…just…anything.” Kelley muttered, wiping tears way now that Hope was finally speaking to her.

 

“I’m not going to stand here and scream at you, if that’s what you mean.”

 

Kelley felt like this particular treatment was far worse than being yelled at. She apologized, “I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s not enough for me anymore.” Hope sadly responded. She was actually quite proud of herself for not blowing up yet. She calmly continued, “I can’t do this.”

 

Kelley begged, “Please…can’t we just work through this? Give me time, and maybe I…”

 

“I don’t to wait anymore. I can’t do this.” Hope repeated.

 

“Hope, I really care about you…and I hate that I keep doing this to you.”

 

“Well, I’m not going to let this happen again.”

 

“I just…I can’t help the fact that there’s no building blocks to our relationship. It’s only natural for me to return to what I know…to what’s familiar to me. That’s why tonight, when I saw…uhm her…I just lost control. And I…”

 

“It’s not even about that anymore!” Hope interrupted abruptly, suddenly getting heated. “Don’t you get it? I’ve been here waiting patiently for your memory to come back. And you know, to be honest, I didn’t think there was much of a chance it would come back. But I still stood by you. I explained things to you. I gave you everything you needed to form a bond with Poppy again. I still _loved_ you.”

 

Kelley winced at the past tense use of that one verb, but allowed Hope to continue.

 

“Everything has been about you- about you getting better…I keep waiting for someone who isn’t willing to put any effort into taking things further…you only keep pushing me away.”

 

Kelley spoke up, “It’s not that I’m not _willing_ …I just…for the hundredth time, I have nothing to go off of! I don’t know _us_.”

 

“Is me telling you that I love you not enough?” Hope felt tears form in her eyes, thinking how twisted and backwards all this was. Kelley had always been the one to be “all in”- not Hope.

 

Kelley was taken aback by Hope’s question. She stuttered, “Y…you’re expecting too much out of me.”

 

“ _Expecting?_ Kelley, I just want you to trust me. I’m here. Isn’t that enough for you?! This…this isn’t…I’m the one who…” Hope found herself loss for words, not being able to explain the foundations of their own relationship.

 

“Stop putting it like that! Like I’m the bad guy here! I can’t help that my memory was taken away from me!” Kelley fought back. She sighed, “I…I can’t help it.”

 

Hope put her head in her hands partly out of frustration, and partly to reduce the pounding. But the pressure building in her head was too much and she felt herself _let go_.

 

“ _Fuck_.” Hope gritted through her teeth. “Don’t you think I feel _terrible_ about that?!”

 

Kelley backed a foot away, feeling herself get smaller and smaller under Hope’s big and invading personality. “Wh…what do you mean?”

 

“It was my fault.” Hope calmed down a slight bit.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m the reason you don’t remember anything…I deserve this.”

 

Kelley suddenly realized where Hope was going with this and shook her head, “No…you can’t blame yourself.”

 

“I was driving that night.”

 

“Hope, I didn’t mean for…”

 

Hope cut her off, “I walked away with minor whiplash and you…you lost _seven years_ of your life.” Hope felt tears begin to resurface again as she thought about the emotional turmoil Kelley had been dealing with.

 

Kelley continued to shake her head, “We can’t predict life.”

 

Hearing that statement almost made Hope forget everything and forgive instantly. But the conflict within her was too strong, and she felt herself pulling away. Somehow, she was still bitter towards Kelley.

 

“I don’t want to do this anymore.”

 

“No, this is good…we’re talking, and…”

 

“ _No._ ” Hope’s calm tone shifted suddenly into something filled with pure rage. “This whole time, I’ve been feeling like _shit_ …and you…you just _kissed_ her. Ann! Out of all people!”

 

“I’m sorry.” Kelley pleaded for forgiveness once again, realizing that her mistake was affecting Hope more than she had imagined in the first place.

 

“I’m not going to let myself suffer anymore.”

 

“We can work through this.” Kelley felt herself losing the argument as Hope sadly shook her head.

 

“You’re too toxic for me.”

 

With that, Hope walked into her room, shutting the door behind her. Once it was closed, she let the tears roll down her face.   

 

She found it hard to believe those words came out of her mouth, for just seven years ago, when she struggled with their relationship, those same words came out of Kelley.

 

So out of all people, Hope should’ve understood.

 

But it was too late.

 

The walls had gone up and she had a feeling they might never come back down.


	14. Space

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I miss you."

They needed space.

 

Both Hope and Kelley knew that if they were to make any decisions regarding their relationship- whether to hang on to it or end it- they would need some serious time apart from each other. Just being in the same household seemed to cloud their judgment.

 

So when Hope informed Kelley that she had been offered a part time job in London as an assistant goal keeping coach to a club team, they both knew that Hope leaving might be just what they needed. To many, it looked like Hope was running away (yet again), but little did they know, Kelley was on board with the idea. If there was anything at all between them, Kelley figured a “long-distance relationship” would prove it.

 

Unfortunately, she didn’t believe anything was going to come out of this.

 

And neither did Hope.

 

But it was worth a shot. A final shot. The last straw.

 

-

 

_“Happy birthday, dear Poppy, happy birthday to youuuuu!”_

_Everyone cheered and clapped their hands as they watched the little girl blow out one candle. And by everyone- literally everyone was there. Hope’s mom, her parents, her sister and brother, Carli and Brian, Alex and Servando, Sydney and Dom, Ashlyn and Ali, Abby and Sarah, Pinoe, Kling, Moe, Sam, Caitlyn, and so many more._

_Poppy, surrounded by her and Hope, squealed in delight. She reached out, grabbing a chunk of the cake- more concerned about its texture rather than its taste. When they weren’t looking, she gently shoved the cake forward, off her high chair._

_“Poppy! No--”_

_-_

It was pretty quiet around the house now that it was just the two of them. Poppy was a relatively easy kid, so Kelley had no problem taking care of her alone. She hadn’t heard from Hope since she left, which was understandable. Like they had agreed on before, they needed space. Kelley knew she must respect that, but deep down, something had changed.

 

Without Hope’s presence, Kelley noticed how things had changed- a lot more than she had expected it to. No more Hope brewing coffee early in the morning. No more Hope putting Poppy to bed. No more Hope looking at her like she was the most beautiful, and desired, woman in the world.

 

It was a strange feeling- this lack of Hope, per say. And it bothered Kelley.

 

-

 

_Snow was falling outside and “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” was heard throughout the mall. The small family was dressed in the ugliest Christmas sweaters known to humanity (Hope still had no idea where Kelley had found them). Christmas was both of their favorite holidays, and boy did they go all out. Currently, they stood in line, waiting to get their picture taken with Santa._

_As predicted, Poppy was absolutely terrified of the man with the large beard, clinging desperately to Hope. Kelley, of course, the true child at heart, volunteered to take Poppy’s place on the lap of good old Santa. Eventually, through all the fussing and Hope grasping the squirmy toddler, they got their first holiday picture as a family- Hope anxiously holding a bawling Poppy and Kelley grinning, legs crossed and hands perfectly placed in her lap._

_Typical family photo with Santa._

_But so picture perfect._

-

 

Two months had gone by.

 

And Kelley felt herself getting antsier each day. She started to do this thing where she paced around the house simply because she couldn’t keep still. Besides taking care of Poppy and occasionally going out with a few friends here and there, she didn’t have much to do.

 

Hope usually took care of that.

 

Although they never got past a couple movie outings or pizza making nights, Kelley enjoyed spending time with her. She had actually enjoyed getting to know her former teammate on a much more personal level.

 

And she took that for granted.

 

Most of the time as she paced around the house, Kelley would find herself hovering over her phone- debating back and forth whether or not she should pick it up and dial _her_ number.

 

But in the end, she would always refrain.

 

-

 

_“O…oh..my…oh my god. It’s happening!”_

_Hope rushed into the living room where she was seated on the floor with their baby girl. She stuttered, “O…oh my god. It is!”_

_“G…get the camera!” Kelley felt herself whisper, scared that if she spoke louder the little girl standing before would fall._

_A few minutes had passed when a huge crash was heard. She watched as Hope picked herself off the ground, chuckling to herself at the klutzy keeper. Hope had scrambled to find their point and shoot camera, not thinking that her phone would’ve done just fine, and in her excitement and recklessness, she had tripped._

_Not caring about the pain in her knee or the fact that her wife was laughing at her, Hope set up the camera, hitting record._

_“Hope here…and I just tripped. But that’s okay because look! Baby’s first steps!”_

-

 

“Mommy coming home?”

 

Kelley helped pull the shirt down over the little girl’s head as she got dressed for bed, “Soon enough, sweetie…”

 

“I miss her.”

 

Kelley half-smiled in understanding, but ignored her statement and instructed, “Alright, let’s get in bed now…what book do you want me to read to you tonight?”

 

“This! Reminds me of Mommy.” Poppy had chosen a picture book titled “The Goalkeeper.”

 

Kelley smiled as she snuggled close to her little girl, “Perfect choice.”

 

After finishing the book, Kelley looked down at her half-asleep daughter. She stroked her hair, “You really like this book, huh?”

 

Poppy nodded, “Yeah…”

 

“Well, I can see why…it’s a pretty good book.” Kelley kissed the top of the little girl’s head and got out of bed, “Alright, little squirrel, sleep well and good night.”

 

Poppy whispered back, “I love you…the whole 120 yards and beyond.”

 

Kelley looked at the small girl with confusion, “120 yards?”

 

“Mhm…”

 

“Like the length of a soccer field?”

 

“Yeah. Mommy always says that when tucking me in.” Poppy’s voice trailed off as she fell asleep.

 

Kelley smiled at the thought of Hope and their little one, and she whispered in return, “I love you too, Poppy.”

 

-

 

_Kelley couldn’t help but think- God, was Hope beautiful. Her dark washed jeans fitting perfectly in her brown boots, her plaid flannel so fitting of the PNW style, and her hair flowing perfectly beneath her shoulders. Her eyes sparkled as she lifted their daughter into the air, sending a swirl of leaves all over their yard._

_She watched from afar, but the moment Hope turned to face her, she felt her body go numb. Those god damn bright blue eyes, staring straight into her soul. Hope’s mouth opened, and while she was too lost in her own world, she knew she was calling her name._

_-_

 

Kelley suddenly sat upright in her bed, her heart rate just a tad faster than normal and sweat forming on her brow. She had woken herself up once again. It wasn’t like she was having nightmares- they were good, almost perfect, dreams. But something about those dreams made her heart flutter. It suddenly dawned on her.

 

They weren’t dreams.

 

They were glimpses into the past.

 

They were memories.

 

Kelley quickly got out of bed, fumbled with the light switch and looked frantically around the room for her phone. Picking it up instantly and dialing a number, with no regard to the large time difference, she held it up to her ear.

 

The phone connected on the other end and she immediately blurted out,

 

“I miss you.”

 

And then she waited in silence. She almost thought that no one was on the other end, but then she heard the faintest set of breaths- in and out, in and out, in and out.

 

Just as she was ready to hang up- or rather, give up- those small breaths turned into a heavy sigh and the sigh turned into words.

 

“I miss you too."

 

 


	15. Wembley Stadium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She remembered their last night in London together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I loved writing it :)

Hope had always loved Kelley’s voice. 

 

It wasn’t too high, and it wasn’t too low either. It was actually non-distinct. Her voice sounded like many other girls’ voices out there, but whenever Kelley opened her mouth, Hope instantly knew it was her. She couldn’t really explain it, but she always gravitated towards the easygoing, yet daring tone of voice.

 

“Hope--”

 

“Kell--”

 

Silence. Kelley urged, “Go ahead.”

 

Hope felt herself breaking all over again, just thinking about what she was going to say next.

 

“I miss you, Kell. I really do…but if I’m being perfectly honest, I just…I just don’t see us making it through all this.” Hope admitted softly.

 

That wasn’t the reply Kelley had been hoping for. She swallowed back tears and mumbled, “Oh.”

 

“I don’t want to end this on bad terms, of course. I’d still like for us to be…friends, if that’s possible. I’m willing to work on that, especially for Poppy.”

 

Kelley began, “But Hope…”

 

“I’m done waiting.” Hope said out right.

 

Kelley knew she should’ve told her about the dreams that she had been having lately, but she was scared- scared that they weren’t enough to carry her through such a commitment with Hope. While those dreams made her incredibly happy, and were the reason to call Hope in the spur of the moment, they weren’t exactly worthy of “love”- or that’s what she made herself believe anyways.

 

Kelley gently asked, “So where do we go from here?”

 

“I have a month left over here, so when I get home, we can start…uh…you know, figuring it all out. We’ll deal with details later.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“I really do miss you, Kell.” Hope sadly muttered into the phone, and Kelley could tell she was on the verge of tears. It pained her to hear her voice tremble like so.

 

Neither one of them wanted to hang up. Though not many words were exchanged, hearing each other breathe was good enough- in fact, calming. They stayed on the phone until Kelley had dozed off. Hope knew her too well- how as she fell asleep, Kelley’s breathing would become softer and shallower until barely noticeable, barely distinct.

 

Just like her voice.

 

-

 

The dreams stopped after that phone call.

 

And Kelley would do anything to get them back. She even found herself starting to take naps, which she normally did not like to do, just to increase her chance of having a dream- or memory of the past. She had hoped that having numerous glimpses into the past would somehow fill this gap of emotion, this longing for what it meant to love and to be in love.

 

But every time she fell asleep, she would wake up just the same. No new dream, no new memory. The inkling of hope inside of her started to fade away as she realized that Hope would be coming home very soon, and with that, she knew they would be over. They would be no more.

 

Kelley’s emotions ran high and just when she was about to give up, her heart took over her mind and fought for them.

 

Fought for Hope.

 

-

 

_August 2012_

 

_Kelley slowly opened her hotel room door, careful not to wake her roommate. Hope stood on the other side with a soccer ball in one hand and a mischievous grin on her face. Before Kelley had the chance to ask what brought the goalkeeper to her room at 2 in the morning, Hope quickly put a finger to her own mouth, signaling her not to say anything. The adventurous sparkle in Hope’s eyes was hard to go unnoticed and Kelley instantly knew she was up to no good._

_And because Kelley wasn’t one to miss out on an adventure, nevertheless a spontaneous night outing with the one and only Hope Solo during their last night in London, she felt her hands search for the doorknob behind her._

_The door closed shut and there was no going back._

_Without saying one word, Hope successfully led Kelley the few blocks down from their hotel room until they reached their destination._

_Wembley Stadium._

_As Hope carefully checked her surroundings to make sure no one was watching, she slid herself through a small breach in the security gate and proceeded to the nearest side door to let themselves in. Kelley had no idea how Hope managed to gain an access key to the infamous London stadium and honestly she didn’t really want to know either, but of course, not wanting to be outdone, Kelley didn’t object and followed suit._

_Hope walked through the tunnel to the main field to find the main light switch, and soon the field light up in all its glory. Hope stood at the sidelines and looked at awe at the field before her._

_“And that’s how you break into Wembley Stadium.”_

_Kelley felt herself do a whole turn as she looked around. This was truly breathtaking. Words could not describe what it felt like to win gold for their country in this exact stadium, so Kelley found it even harder to describe what it felt like to stand in the empty stadium with absolutely no one around except for Hope beside her. Her eyes wandered, but somehow found their way back to the taller woman who had just stolen her heart. Kelley failed to stifle a laugh._

_“You’re crazy, you know that? What are we doing here?”_

_Not wanting to give an answer quite yet, Hope simply shrugged before stepping on the pitch and dropping the ball to her feet. They passed the ball back and forth until Kelley broke their silence. She chuckled once more at the ridiculous situation she was in and how Hope was the reason for it._

_“I’m pretty sure this is against the rules.”_

_“Oh come on, Kelley. Do you not know me at all? I don’t play by the rules.”_

_Kelley smirked in return, “Good. Because neither do I.”_

_…_

_They remained on the pitch for a good portion of the night. Just the two of them. Kelley, of course, loved every moment she could get with the goalkeeper, but she let her curiosity get to the best of her._

_“Really, Hope, are you ever going to tell me what we are doing here?”_

_Hope slowly stood up from where she was sitting next to Kelley and began walking away until she stopped and turned around at midfield. She took a deep breath and felt the corners of her mouth turn upward, tugging at a smile._

_“This tournament has been so good to me. After our huge loss last year, I felt robbed of something. Not just of a victory, but of all my hard work and passion for this sport. I felt like I had let down our country, our team, and even myself. Before coming to London, I gave myself an ultimatum- that if we didn’t win, that if I didn’t find what I was robbed of, then I would give up. I know that sounds so unlike me- so unlike the fierce, spirited, and determined athlete I’ve worked so hard to become. But honestly, I was getting tired of all the crossfire. The media, the judgement, the time away from home…I was tired, and unhappy. But I figured- let’s give it your best one last time. Let’s give yourself a second chance.”_

_Kelley had now stood up as well, wanting to walk over and embrace her older teammate, but she respected her space and stood her ground. She waited patiently and listened intently._

_“So that’s what I did. I took my second chance, and ran with it…and I’m so thankful I did. These past few weeks have been amazing. I’ve learned so much about what it means to be a professional soccer player, about the importance of a team, about carrying each other through thick and thin, and most importantly, I learned a lot about myself. These past few weeks have changed me. You’ve changed me, Kell.”_

_“Hope…” Kelley felt her insides tingle with excitement as the 5’9’’ keeper professed some of her deepest secrets in the middle of a stadium where they won a much deserved gold medal._

_Hope interrupted, “You’ve made me open up in ways that I could have never imagined. You carried me through this tournament, not just as a crucial part of my backline, but as a friend…as a better half. You have helped me realize what I have been robbed of- I’ve found my passion again, and I truly believe that in three years, we’ll be world champions. I can just feel it. I just know it. And I also know that I want you to be with me every step we take to get there, and past that. From here on out, I want you by my side.”_

_Kelley felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she did her very best to keep her emotions in check, but Hope was making it very hard for her to do so. But that was a good thing._

_Hope sighed loudly, a flare of happiness clearly present. She concluded, “So, this is why we’re here. Before we leave London, I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me…how far I’ve fallen for you.”_

_Kelley wiped her tears away and furrowed her brow, “What do you mean?”_

_“Just look around you, Kell. What do you see?”_

_“Uhm, Wembley Stadium?” Kelley looked around in awe once more at the vast stadium before her._

_“Where are we standing?”_

_“On the pitch.”_

_Hope opened her arms, gesturing the entire field. “Well, this is how much you mean to me, Kell.”_

_Kelley shook her head, adrenaline pumping through every last vein in her body. She felt like she could win gold all over again at this very moment. She laughed through her tears as she felt herself drift past cloud nine._

_“You’re the biggest dork, you know that, right?” Kelley felt her feet start to bring her towards midfield, toward the woman she, too, had fell in love with._

_Hope proclaimed proudly and loudly, almost shouting, “Kelley O’Hara, I love you.”_

_“Yeah? As far as these 120 yards?”_

_“The whole 120 yards and beyond.”_

_-_

She remembered.

 

Their very last night in London. 

 

When they recklessly fell in love.

 

A moment belonging just to the two of them alone.

 

 _Their_ moment.

 

And she remembered every single detail.


	16. When In London

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything started to make sense now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a little update for you all. It's short, but exactly how I envisioned it. Cheers!

Everything started to make sense.

 

Those very words that Hope said that night were echoed just the other day when Poppy had repeated them to her. That’s why Poppy’s middle name was London. That’s why the Olympics were so important to Hope.

 

That’s where they fell in love.

 

Kelley still hadn’t gained her full memory back, and neither did she think she would. But she now had this particular moment etched into her mind forever. Sure, she didn’t have every building block of the foundation of their relationship, but she had the very first one. It was enough for her to believe in their relationship.

 

And it was enough for her to buy a ticket and hop on the next plane to London.

 

Hope was done fighting, but she had just begun.

 

After a ten hour flight across the Atlantic, Kelley found herself trembling in front of a hotel room. The door opened.

 

“Kelley?” Hope’s eyes widened in disbelief.

 

“Surprise.” Kelley grinned in return.

 

Hope furrowed her brow, “Wh…what are you doing here?”

 

“I came to see you.” The shorter brunette replied honestly.

 

Hope wanted more than anything to pull her in, but she knew she had to stand her ground. She sighed, “Kell, if this has to do with that phone call the other night…”

 

“Can we just talk?” Kelley interrupted.

 

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea right now.”

 

“Please.”

 

“We…we were supposed to figure it out when I got home.”

 

“Just give me a second chance.” Kelley begged, knowing Hope was borderline ready to give in.

 

Hope crossed her arms as a sign of defense, “Fine…I have a team dinner in a little bit, but we can talk after.”

 

“Thank you.” Kelley’s eyes shone with relief and sincerity.

 

-

 

“Come on.”

 

Hope was doubtful of the outstretched hand of the younger woman before her.

 

“I thought we were just going to talk.”

 

“Well, we are…just not here.”

 

“Kell, I don’t have time…”

 

Kelley ignored Hope’s protest and grabbed her arm, pulling her along. She was way too anxious. Hope soon found herself sitting in a cab and after some driving around, Kelley stopped the cab driver and motioned for her to get out. Hope looked around and instantly realized the familiar setting.

 

Wembley Stadium.

 

“What are we doing here?”

 

Hope sighed as Kelley was already halfway into the stadium. She was with the younger woman once again, sending her thoughts so array that it didn’t even occur to her that they were breaking into one of London’s most famous stadiums for the second time in their lives (although Kelley had talked to the maintenance team to let her in prior).

 

“Come on.” Kelley urged Hope to step onto the pitch.

 

Hope shook her head, “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, but can we just have a normal conversation? I have a busy schedule tomorrow and need to head back to the hotel soon.”

 

Kelley grabbed hold of her hand once more, placing her in goal. “Just stay here.”

 

“Why?” Hope watched as Kelley jogged to midfield.

 

Hope looked at her wife incredulously. Before she could open her mouth, Kelley beat her to it.

 

“It happened here, didn’t it?”

 

“What?”

 

“In this very stadium.”

 

Hope guessed, “Uh, sure…we’ve played on this field before.”

 

Kelley almost laughed at Hope’s ignorance, but she caught herself and just tried again.

 

“No, it happened _right here_ …where we’re standing.” Kelley pointed to the ground.

 

“What? If you’re talking about when we won gold, then yes, this is the stadium where the final was held.”

 

“No, I--”

 

Hope cut her off, not finding much of this very amusing. She was tired. “Kelley, I really don’t have time for this…I’m sorry.”

 

As Hope began to walk off the field, Kelley almost shouted, “Just tell me you love me.”

 

Hope turned around, a tad ticked off by Kelley’s demand. “And why would I do that?”

 

“Hope, please…I know you do. Just say it.”

 

Hope sighed loudly, “If I say it, will you leave me alone for the night?”

 

Kelley nodded- half-lying.

 

“Fine.” Hope took a deep breath before the words rolled smoothly off her tongue, “I love you.”

 

And just as Hope turned around to leave for the second time, Kelley’s voice pierced every part of her soul and she was almost certain they travelled back in time.  

 

 _“The whole 120 yards?_ ”  


	17. 120 Yards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The whole 120 yards and beyond."

Déjà vu.

 

That was the only thing on Hope’s mind at the moment. She literally felt like she had been transported back in time.

 

Same city.

 

Same stadium.

 

Same place on the field.

 

Same words.

 

Hope slowly turned around, locking eyes on the freckled face brunette- locking in on the moment, afraid it would disappear if she blinked. She needed to make sure this was real, that she wasn’t dreaming. She stuttered,

 

“Wh…what did you just say?”

 

Kelley was bursting out of her skin, her excitement taking full control of her. She calmed herself down enough to respond.

 

“I asked you…the whole 120 yards?”

 

Hope felt her heart overflow and as she came to terms with such a feeling, she realized her legs were already one step ahead of her. She ran towards the midfield, her pace quickening every step she took until she reached her other, her better, half and wrapped her arms around her in a full embrace. She picked her up, twirling her around as pure happiness surrounded the two. Hope didn’t care how cheesy this all seemed- she was on a high and nothing could bring her down.

 

Kelley felt herself fit perfectly in the goalkeeper’s arms and further buried herself into the crook of her neck. She felt like she belonged- that she had always belonged there. She thanked her heavenly stars for showing her that she should never lose sight of her life with Hope and Poppy. She suddenly felt tears form and fall, slightly soaking the taller woman’s shirt.

 

Hope pulled away, concern filling her eyes, “Hey, you okay?”

 

Kelley looked down and mumbled, “I’m so sorry.”

 

“No…no. It’s alright…I’m sorry for giving up.”

 

“I never…”

 

“Stop talking. Everything’s alright now…everything’s going to be okay.”

 

Kelley looked up and admitted, “I…I don’t remember everything. Just this.”

 

Hope rested her forehead against that of Kelley’s and sighed, “You remembered…that’s enough for me.”

 

Kelley smiled in such close proximity to Hope and whispered, “And for me too. I believe in us.”

 

Hope placed a loose strand of hair behind Kelley’s ear, gently cupping her face, bringing her closer, and finally closing the gap between them. They had shared so many kisses before, but none of them amounted to this one. After pulling away from each other, Hope couldn’t help but chuckle.

 

“Maybe we should just move to London…good things happen here.”

 

Kelley smirked, “You’d miss Seattle too much.”

 

“See? You already know me so well.”

 

“But you know, I wouldn’t be totally opposed to yearly trips here.”

 

“Let’s make it happen then.” Hope smiled, still holding on tight to the brunette in her arms.

 

Kelley snuggled closer to the taller woman, not realizing that this very moment was just the start of so many more moments together- ones she would never ever forget.Hand in hand, the pair began to exit the stadium until Kelley stopped in her tracks. She looked up at Hope.

 

“Hey, you never answered my question…the whole 120 yards?”

 

Hope shook her head and kissed her defender, savoring every moment they had together now that she was hers again. She softly, but confidently, responded,

 

“The whole 120 yards and beyond.”

 

-

 

_fin._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it, folks. A happy ending! See? I'm not that cruel!
> 
> Thank you for seeing this story through. I know this last chapter was extremely short, but I felt like this story just needed a final cap, if you will. Your feedback means a lot to me, so thank you for that as well. 
> 
> Fair warning: I will be posting a new story very soon, so keep a lookout for that :)


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